I'll be out of town working at a confernece all this week and on the clock about 16-20 hours a day. When I signed up to do this NaBloMoFo thing last month, I thought it might be an interesting challenge to try and write something every day of November, so I submitted my intention to participate and told them they could include my weblog on the list.

About... oh I'd say... three... seconds after I hit the enter button to sign on, I realized that I was the Stupidest Person Alive and majorly screwed because not only would I be out of town for 10 days in November, but the weeks leading up to it are the busiest of the entire year for me at work.

In the first Kubler-Ross stage of grief, I futilely hoped that somehow my sign-up had gone awry, because for several days my blog did not appear on the list of Official Participants. But then onNovember 1st, it micarulously emerged. Of course that led me to stage two, Anger, as I thought, "Dammit. That thing wasn't clear. It should have said 'November, The Conference Month.' Doesn't everyone know The Conference is in November? Doesn't the rest of the world come to a halt when I go to a conference? November is a poor choice of months to do this thing anyway. Stupid month. Stupid NaBloMe. NaBloUToo."

I skipped right past stage three, Bargaining, after I realized I was too lazy to figure out whom to email to ask to take my name off the list and on to Depression, stage four, thinking, "Well, I'll just suck. I'll just miss days, and I'll suck and everyone will hate me and no one will read my blog ever again." When I realized that no one reads my blog now, I finally arrived at the last stage, Acceptance, where I have decided that I'll just throw some crap up each day if I can and even if it sucks, it'll be done. If I miss a day, it's not like the four people who read my blog would really care that much.

I've tried to avoid talking about NaPoHoMo thus far, because... man am I sick of reading on everyone's blog their whinings about this and how hard it is and I didn't want to lose too much face if I didn't get around to a post or two while out of town. But since I've gotten this far in the month, I'll try and keep going as best I can. In that case, I feel it's in people's best interest that I provide a warning that this blog will probably be filled with random crap for the next week and maybe afterwards while I recover from the conference and before new resolve to quit my job (which is always highest right when I get home) fades.

And so I present the first Random Crap of the week:

My favorite Google search criteria that have resulted in a hit on my weblog this month

is duff goldman a married man
alice in wonderland made on acid
underground houses
OCD stop hand washing
fake greg
pasty and pallid (WebMD search)
yellow wiggle pedophile
have to put on a bra
old pink stuffed bunny
suburu door left ajar
alice cincinatti

I am 90% certain I have never used the words "acid" or "cincinatti" here... until now, that is.

Two separate people came to the blog by googling "goldiblock". What's up with that? Who googles the word "goldiblock"? Besides me that is... (by the way, I get my site and my site only. I am currently the only person on the interweb to use the word "goldiblock" - there's gotta be some kind of award for that right? No? Well, then, let's move on.)

To all you who found me this way, Welcome. I'm sorry I wasn't what you were looking for.