Private Eyes, They're Watching You

Posted on 4/28/2013 06:00:00 PM

These little plants I found last week fascinated me and I've been spending time trying to figure out what kinda plant izzat? all week because I want to plant them in my yard.  This is the one time Google consistently fails me: when I have a picture and no words and I'm trying to figure out what the name of that thing in the picture is but my verbal skills are limited to "green plant, light green bloom, kinda looks like boobies." You can imagine that I'm probably not going to get a hit list full of pictures of plants with those search terms in my query. If you know what this plant is, please leave your wisdom in the comments.

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Bird Pair

Posted on 4/27/2013 07:44:00 AM
Busy week. Much to discuss. But on my way to yet another event, so no time to do it.  Instead, look at these harbingers of Spring, which hasn't quite made it to us yet, but is trying.




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Breakfast in Bed

Posted on 4/24/2013 07:00:00 AM In:
How come when she makes me breakfast, I gotta eat five ketchup sandwiches, but when she makes him breakfast, he gets chocolate chip cookies and milk?


Momma needs to explain the four food groups a little better.

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Kids is Useful

Posted on 4/22/2013 07:00:00 AM
I told her to pick all the dandelions in the front yard because I wanted a bouquet of dandelion flowers from my favorite five year old. But really, I just didn't feel like weeding.

 

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Stonewall

Posted on 4/21/2013 04:15:00 PM
This pile of stones was in my front yard for several weeks.
  

Pretty though they might be in this photo taken with a good lens, they look way better on the camera phone photo as the two raised flower beds they have been formed into for my salsa garden.  Mucho Nacho Jalapeños, don't fail me now.


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Broccoli

Posted on 4/16/2013 04:50:00 PM
Yesterday was plain awful, wasn't it? Let's just contemplate nature a little while we remind ourselves that life is beautiful and there are way more good people than bad.

 

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Well Done, Tulips

Posted on 4/15/2013 08:10:00 PM

I spent some time out in the yard this weekend, pulling weeds. I now have a new found dislike for gardening and anything that requires me to bend over so that my head is below my heart.  Actually, I realized my initial dislike for this physical position years ago when I was helping to tile a friend's house, but in this particular application of the technique, you can also flick dirt up in your face and get it lodged in your bra, which is even less fun.

While I was so engaged, I happened to notice The Caterpillar, who was out in the yard with me talking excitedly.  I could see there was no one else around, so I ignored it for the most part.  She's talking about eighty-five percent of the time, and she only expects people to respond half of that time.  But at some point, her chatter started to sound a little less like a one-sided conversation so I tuned in and caught the pep talk she was giving the plants in the front flower bed:

"Great job, flowers. You are beautiful!  And good job blooming, pink tulips! You look GREAT! And you, red tulips, you are also doing a really good job with your blooming too. You are making our yard look great! And you, yellow tulip... well, I don't know you're doing there, but good job, you!"

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Bucket Buddy

Posted on 4/14/2013 10:03:00 PM
This may not be the best way to store a child,


but it sure makes it easier to carry them.



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Sixteen Years

Posted on 4/12/2013 04:04:00 PM In:
I gave my husband a hoe for our anniversary. 

That sounds wrong. 

It was a Love Hoe.

That sounds worse.

It's an antique.

Just like our marriage.


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Gerbera Daisy

Posted on 4/08/2013 03:48:00 PM

Two days ago, I was so cold in the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep. Exactly two weeks ago, we had snow on the ground.  Today it is 82 degrees outside. We've gone from Winter and skipped over Spring right into Summer.  I mentioned my disgust about this to The KingofHearts and his response was "Such is life in the swamp."  

And that's all I have to say about that.

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Love Expressed on a Bathroom Wall

Posted on 4/07/2013 12:13:00 PM
The saga of the bath crayons continues, but I never really told you the beginning. 

Basically about two weeks ago, I was in Target and without the ability to self-regulate, I saw a package of bath crayons on sale and grabbed them off the end wrap as we were walking by.   I used to purchase these years ago when the Shortlings were... well... shorter, but at nine and five, the girls are almost too old for these things.  However, I'm pretty sure there's a seventy-five dollar purchase minimum every time I simply walk into Target (or maybe the good folks at Target just want me to think that) so, this helped fill a quota.  When I got home, I stuck them on a shelf in the bathtub and said nothing.

The Shortlings used them, of course, not because what they'd been missing in their lives was bath crayons or because bath crayons make you smarter, but because they were there. They drew on the walls and left strange pictures of Easter eggs and zombies and made a giant mess. And then I started cleaning it all off when I was in the shower and leaving a picture of my own in it's place.  And then they took it a step further with a host of not-necessarily-appropriate-for-children movie quotes.  And I took it a step further than that with a series of crossword puzzles which they, in turn filled in when they were in the shower. And that's when our water bill increased by twenty percent because we were all just standing around naked in the shower, thinking of new things to write on the bathroom walls.

And then there was a day where I didn't take a shower that morning, so The Dormouse left me a word search instead.  It was cute.  I took my turn in the shower and completed her word search.  The next day when it was still there, I was in the bathroom and happened to notice a slight theme about the words she incorporated:


  • Mom
  • Dad
  • Family
  • Love
  • LA
  • Movie
  • Bye

OK, maybe I'm reading too much into it.  Not every single one of the words was a message of love and gratitude, but I like to think it's okay to instill a love of movies and Los Angeles in my children as well. Either way, it is not lost on me that when she created a game for me to do while I was standing naked in the shower, the first words that occurred to her to write down were Mom, Dad, Family and Love.  

I do alotta stupid things for... and sometimes just around... my kids.   Cuphands, anyone?

I just hope that some of the stupid stuff I do covers up for my mostly total ineptitude as a parent and ends up being things they look back on when they grow up and smile about.  I know when I grow up I will.

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Oh that? Aisle 9.

Posted on 4/06/2013 06:56:00 PM
For some reason, this picture reminds me of this awesome Target store prank.  (So you must click on that link and let hilarity ensure.)  I found this just after I bought my Self Birthing Kit.

And yes, we pushed her all around the whole store like that.  If you want some odd looks from fellow shoppers, give it a try.  But you'll find yourself randomly yelling, "Don't let your hair get in the wheels!" and then those who don't see what's in your cart think you're talking to them. Or the voices in your head.  Igual no más.

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More Fun with Bath Crayons

Posted on 4/01/2013 06:00:00 AM
It's not weird to be standing in the shower, thinking up new things to write on the bathtub surround walls to amuse your children, is it?



Nevermind, forget I asked.  I don't want to know.

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Washington, D.C. Metro, United States
Married, 40ish mom of two (or three, or four, depending on how you keep score) who stepped through the lookinglass and now finds herself living in curiouser and curiouser lands of Marriage, Motherhood, and the Washington, D.C. Metro Area.

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