Top reasons a tiny little part of me doesn't miss my family all that much as I should and therefore feel guilty about it because I am a horrible mother and a worse person and I don't deserve to have such a great family if I can leave them so easily:

  1. Maid service
  2. Can put something down on a table in my room, assured that in 10 minutes I will be able to retrieve it rather than finding it by accident three days later stuffed inside a pink doll house
  3. Colleague cut a deal with hotel massage therapist - free massages for staff
  4. Can take a shower without company (of both the adult and child kind)
  5. Can also shave legs without water going cold
  6. Makeup has little chance to be used as paints at any time in the next four days
  7. Four words: control of the blankets
  8. Five words: control of the room temperature
  9. Three year old laughter, which is expressed as high pitched screams
  10. Can walk around naked in room without getting groped
  11. No Disney channel on television
  12. Adult conversation that doesn't involve tools, buying tools, using tools, or making tools
  13. No one crawls into bed with me at 2:00 in the morning and kicks the mattress repeatedly for an hour
  14. Can eat a piece of chocolate without hearing "Can I have some? Can I have some? Can I have some? Can I have some?"
  15. Can eat same piece of chocolate for breakfast without disapproving look from husband.
  16. Get to sit down for more than three minutes at a time without someone yelling at me that they need their butt wiped... oh wait... that happens here too.

Unrelated: how hilarious is it that when I got back to my room last night, I had a plate of cheese, compliments of convention services? If they'd only looked in my ice bucket, they could've saved themselves the time and effort.