Alice's Adventures Underground

The Cult of Alice

Posted on 1/10/2009 09:01:00 AM - by NG

Hey, remember when I wrote this post? Yeah, I didn't think so. Go ahead and look at it for background. I'll wait.
....

Back now? Good. Now that we're all up to speed, there's an epilogue to the story.

Okay, so I'm sitting home the other day and the UPS man pulls up to the house. I went to the door and he handed me a box that was addressed to The KingofHearts. We have this thing in our house: we don't open each other's mail. Unless, for example it's like a bill from the Water Company or something where we know what's inside and it's obvious it's for the both of us, if it's not addressed to me, I leave it for The KoH to open. This is kind of an unspoken rule between us and I don't really know how it started. It's not like one of us ever said, "Hey, I don't want you to open my mail." We just have never done it. Maybe it's the years of indoctrination from the Post Office that mail is official and sacred. Maybe it's our way of protecting the other person if he or she wants to have a clandestine affair or order porn or something else the other person doesn't know about. The KoH also refuses to open my purse. Oh he'll hold my purse if I ask, but if I need something out of it and ask him to get it for me, he hands it back to me. Even if he's sitting right next to my purse and I'm in the other room and he asks to borrow a twenty because he's out of cash and I say, "There's one in my purse, go ahead and get it," or something equally benign, he will walk all the way across the house and hand the purse to me so I can get the money out and hand it back to him. And the money is usually in the outside pocket of the purse. He claims it's a privacy issue. But I don't really get that because I ~~go through his wallet~~ get stuff for him all the time. Personally I think he's just afraid he'll reach in and accidentally touch a tampon or something, but the fact remains that if I wanted to rob a bank and hide it from my husband, the only logical place for me to hide the dough is in my purse. He'd never be the wiser.

But I digress.

So I didn't even think about opening the box. And I really wasn't curious about what was inside at all. But as I put the box down, I happened to notice that the return address said, "Snuggie." It's kind of hard to miss a one-word return address like that. He was at work, so I texted him. This was our textversation:

Me: Are you planning on staring your own cult?

KoH: I take it your Christmas gifts arrived.

Me: Just a box addressed to you from "Snuggie."

KoH: Open it. Now you can stay warm, read a book, etc.

Me: I'm hoping that when I open the box there aren't four identical robes because I might have to take the girls underground and go into hiding.

*No response from him. Several minutes go by*

Me: OH MY GOSH YOU DID BUY FOUR OF THEM!

KoH: Merry Xmas.

Me: I have to leave you now.

KoH: Cya.

Yes, we are the proud owners of not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Snuggies. I'd say that it was maybe a little too far to go for a joke, but neither one of us has any restraint so I'm going to have to give him a pass on this one.

You can join our cult anytime. We're still working on wiping the smiles off the small ones' faces, but every new religion has it's growing phases.

"Snuuugggiie. Snuuugggiie. Snuuugggiie. Snuuugggiie."

8 cents added |

Easy Peazy

Posted on 1/09/2009 03:05:00 PM - by NG

That crafty Mr. Claus brought an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas. The Dormouse actually gave the box a kiss and a hug. I had one when I was a kid about the same age as The Dormouse is now and loved it, so I think it's fitting that she is enjoying hers. If you've never had pastries cooked by hundred watt light bulb, then you really haven't lived.

This was a surprise for Daddy and also served as a great cooking project to write about for her Winter Break homework packets. (Yes, my KINDERGARTNER had two twelve-page packets of homework to complete over the holiday break.)

You can tell this cake is for Daddy because of the pliers candle.

Hey, Duff, have you got any job openings?

And now, enjoy the musical portion of our evening:

And from The Caterpillar, the Happy Food Dance:

1 cents added |

I Have a Dream That One Day All Children Will Revere Cheese As I Do

Posted on 1/08/2009 06:31:00 AM - by NG

KoH: Apparently, The Dormouse has January 20th off school.

Me: Yeah, that's because of the Inauguration. Pretty much all the schools are closed, I think.

DM: Don't forget Milk Day! I have Milk Day off too!

*we shoot each other a glance as we both immediately realize she's seen "MLK day" written down somewhere and she means January 19th*

KoH: Clearly, someone needs a Civil Rights lesson.

Me: I thought the schools were just really, really in support of calcium products.

Believe it or not World Milk Day is a thing - and so is World School Milk Day. Of course they're both on June 1st and, as such, wouldn't warrant a day off school. Now, World Cheese Day? That's more like it. Ah, the things the internet can teach us.

4 cents added |

Three, Three Times, Bwa Ha Ha Ha

Posted on 1/07/2009 06:28:00 AM - by NG

KoH: "Did you put your clothes away?"

DM: "No."

KoH: "How many times have I asked you to put your clothes away?"

DM: "A lot."

KoH: "Yeah? How many times 'a lot'?"

DM: "A really, really big number... like 83... or 7."

5 cents added |

Twins

Posted on 1/06/2009 01:50:00 AM - by NG In: DC

This father was trying to take a photo of his twin girls standing on the zero milestone in front of the White House when we went down to see the National ~~Aberration~~ Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. If it was a twin, I'm sure that I'd resent the hell out of being made to dress exactly like my sister all the time, but it sure makes for a cute picture... plus you'd always be able to find a lost kid in a crowd. "Have you seen my daughter? She looks just like this one." The Dormouse was very upset that we wouldn't turn around and go back so we could put her on the zero milestone and pose for a picture, but I explained that's because her parents are mean, so get used to it.

Also: if you look closely - click to embiggen the photo - it appears that a dog (at least I'm hoping it was a dog) has peed on the zero milestone. I could have cloned that out, but it amuses me more than the twins. I suppose dogs don't have respect for things like monuments and city centers and such.

2 cents added |

Mickey Hart Would Be Proud

Posted on 1/05/2009 06:54:00 AM - by NG

Don't you want to get one of these for your kid???

I might know someone who'd be willing to sell you hers.

2 cents added |

You're a Mean One, Mrs. Mom

Posted on 1/04/2009 08:29:00 AM - by NG In: DC

I took the girls downtown to see the newly reopened American History Museum last week because I was afraid I might go one more day without showering, leaving the house or changing out of my pajamas. Hey, remember when I tried to go see the Stephen Colbert portrait in the National Portrait Gallery and we didn't get there and they took it down a couple of days later? Well, life has come full circle, it's now in the American History Museum. (Okay, I too realize that's not a circle but my ability for find another metaphor is lacking.) I wasn't even aware they'd hung it there until I was waiting in line for the bathroom and leaning up against this wall hanging when I suddenly thought, hmmm... I wonder what priceless work of art I'm leaning against? Turns out it was this:

Appropriately hung, in front of the bathrooms:

For those who don't get the joke, congratulations! You have a life and probably don't spend hours TiVoing every Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert episode that ever aired. I'm sorry I cannot join your clan. Here's a little background from Wikipedia:

On January 16, 2008, the "3-deep" Colbert portrait was placed on display "right between the bathrooms near the 'America's Presidents' exhibit" at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. After first being rejected by the National Museum of American History, Colbert petitioned the Smithsonian to display his portrait, who agreed to "go along with the joke", though they stress that it is only temporary. Colbert said "I don't mean to brag, but as it contains three portraits, my portrait has more portraits than any other portrait in the National Portrait Gallery!" The portrait was then put on display at the Smithsonian until April 13. On October 16, 2008, the 3-deep portrait was officially donated to the permanent collection of the Smithsonian's American Treasures exhibit. At the end of that show, a new 5-deep portrait was unveiled, with the newest Colbert holding his newly-won Emmy with another Emmy and a Peabody by the mantle.

I met a friend downtown who brought her two kids as well so that we could have a nice low-key day with the kids. Only I had seriously misjudged how thick the crowds would be and how all of them would be clamoring to get in the American History Museum. If we'd decided to see something a little less novel and popular, say the Museum of Dentistry, we'd have probably had a grand time, but it was hard to maneuver tiny hominids who outnumbered the grown-ups two to one amidst a crowd of people who couldn't have cared less if they cut me and the stroller off from my five year old. I told one person who gave me a half-hearted apology when I shot him a dirty look, "Oh don't worry, she's five. I'm sure she'll be able to find her own way home. I just hope she has cab fare."

As we walked around downtown, my friend's four year old preferred to run thirty feet in front of us while The Dormouse insisted on lagging thirty feet behind. So I spent the day yelling at The Dormouse to "keep up" and "stay with me" and "if you don't stop lagging behind a psycho killer will get you and you'll never be heard from again and then I'll have to throw all your clothes away." Sure it sounds harsh, but even that wasn't a big enough motivator for her.

Finally, when even I was sick of hearing myself yell her name every three seconds, she stomped up next to me and sulked. And I heard this come muttering out of her mouth, half aloud/half under her breath: "I wish I didn't have a mean mother. I wish my mother was a nice mother. I love you mom, I just wish you weren't a mean mom."

Heaven help me, school starts tomorrow.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Portrait Accepted - Brent Glass

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

2 cents added |

In the Land of Lilliput

Posted on 1/03/2009 01:45:00 AM - by NG In: DC

The Awakening is one of my favorite sculptures... ever. When I was in my starry-eyed early twenties, my family and I came to D.C. on a vacation and we saw this stature for the first time. I have an embarrassingly young looking photo of me sitting in his left hand from that trip. For the first twenty seven years of his frozen stupor, he was located at Haines Point in Potomac Park (Now he's been moved to the National Harbor.). I've been to see him on sunny days, and extremely late at night when I'm pretty sure it wasn't safe to be anywhere near him. He's always reminded me of that quote from Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto after Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor, "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

3 cents added |

What Will She Be When She Grows Up?

Posted on 1/02/2009 05:23:00 AM - by NG In: aspirations

I've got my money on Plumber or Hip Hop Artist.

3 cents added |

Melodramatic Much?

Posted on 1/01/2009 10:09:00 AM - by NG

In the last few years, we've been spending our New Year's Eve at a friend's house. She and her husband have an annual countdown to midnight party and it always works out perfect for us because a) though it's not really a party aimed at kids, they love our kids and we can bring them with us, b) they don't ever complain when our kids trash their house, c) it's nearly impossible to find some sort of babysitter who doesn't have his or her own plans on New Year's Eve, and d) we get to go out of the house, because deep down, we know if we tried to celebrate at home, we'd just give up and go to bed at 10:30 and that would just make us pathetic. (Of course, that's assuming we're not already firmly in the pathetic category. There is no need to respond to that last statement, by the way.)

This is someone I used to work with but she's been at a new job for several years and she lives a good hour from me. Although, I see her more often than that, I pretty much only go to her house once a year and every time I drive out there, I go through the can I remember where she lives without Mapquest or should I print out directions to keep me from driving around aimlessly, nowhere near her neighborhood, wondering if the neighbors would respond if I just started yelling her name at the top of my lungs out the car window debate.

This year, I did go ahead and look up directions, just to be safe, but I didn't really go back and check to make sure I had her correct address. I was pretty sure that was it, but I only looked as far as my contacts list in my mobile phone and I've been known to put stuff in there incorrectly and forget about it. So when we got to her house, walked up to the door and rang the doorbell, and no one answered, I had momentary self-doubt. Was this really the right house? Was I even on the right street?

The lights in the front room windows were off, which wasn't in itself that unusual, but I happened to look up to the bedroom window on the second story and saw a face peer out and then close the drapes -- a face that did not belong to anyone I knew. We stood there for a second or two as no one came to the door. My inner you're an idiot and obviously must be the one who's wrong voice started in and The KingofHearts and I had the following conversation:

"Are you sure this is the right house?"

"I think so."

"But it doesn't look like any lights are on."

"Should we ring the doorbell again?"

"Well, if it's not her house, I don't want to wake up whomever it belongs to."

"Wait, is it even the thirty-first?"

"Well, I think so..."

*KoH checks mobile phone* "Yeah, it's the thirty-first."

"Was the party cancelled and you forgot?"

"I think I'd remember that. Maybe it doesn't start until later?"

"It's already 9:30."

Clearly, neither of us suffers from an excess of self-confidence.

It was cold and windy, so we went back to wait in the car while we tried to figure out our next move. I realize the logical thing was to simply call her phone and ask if the party was still on/I was at the right house. But I do not do things the logical way and I didn't want to call her if I was truly in the wrong because it was late. So instead we drove around the block to keep the heater going while I tried to pull up the email invite I'd received on my mobile phone - just to make sure I had the right place, date, time, etc., before making a phone call.

The Dormouse, who is about as excitable as a Labrador puppy hearing the phrase go for a walk uttered from his owners every time there's even a possibility of going to a party, was disappointed, to say the least. It didn't matter that this was pretty much a party where adults pretty much just sat around and talked and there might not even be any other kids there, she is a party animal. She works the room, talks to people, shows off her party dress, engages in witty banter... the girl would make an excellent lobbyist one day. But I digress. She was disappointed. Extremely disappointed.

"Look, we're just going to drive around the block and look at lights while Momma tries to look up the party address on her phone, OK?" explained The KoH.

"But what if there isn't a party tonight?" whined The Dormouse.

"Then we'll probably just go home."

This was not an acceptable alternative and she began to pout audibly.

I hate Hate HATE when she does this and The KoH and I ignored her, which is really the only way to deal with her histrionics. We were engaged in conversation about how we might have gotten the date wrong, "Are you sure it's even her party? Maybe it was someone else's party." (Again with the self-confidence.) when I started to hear a mournful, funeral dirge type tune come from the back seat:

♪♫" We wish you a Merry Christmas..."
*dramatic pause*
"...and a saaaaad New Year." ♪♫

Yeah. Remember how she's not a drama queen?

This is what I have to look forward to in 2009. I hope you all have much better prospects.

Epilogue: By the way, we had the right house, they just didn't hear the doorbell and the person looking out from the second story window was one of the party goers' kids - which is why I didn't recognize anyone. So 2009 for The Dormouse was not ruined after all. Aren't you all breathing a sigh of relief? I thought you might be.

4 cents added |

Report Card

Posted on 12/31/2008 08:08:00 AM - by NG

Last year The Caterpillar set some New Year's Resolutions. I asked her to provide an update for all those tracking her progress.

Goal 1. Gain control of my neck muscles so everyone will stop calling me "Bobblehead".
Progress: Done and done. Now to shake the newly acquired nickname, "Teakettle."

Goal 2. Grow this hole in my head closed.
Progress: Mostly done.

Goal 3. Develop an eye color.
Progress: Completed. Eye color is firmly and unquestionably brown.

Goal 4. When parents give me a toy, stop hitting self in face with it.
Progress: Completed. New goal: Stop hitting parents in face with toy.

Goal 5. Cut teeth, because breastfeeding has become way too easy for Momma by now.
Progress: Ongoing.

Goal 6. Solve Poincare's Conjecture. Wait -- somebody already did it. Instead, learn to poop on a regular schedule.
Progress: Little progress made toward goal. Continue efforts toward this end.

Goal 7. Figure out which is day and which is night... so that Momma will Stop. Complaining. Already.
Progress: Now know which is day and night. Do not care, however, whether I'm awake during either. Also, Momma will always find something to complain about.

Goal 8. Get Momma to stop knocking the remote control off the bedside table and into the bassinet in the middle of the night.
Progress: Achieved by moving bed into another room.

Goal 9. Survive big sister's love.
Progress: Uncertain.

Goal 10. Successfully wiggle out of Momma's grasp and get dropped on the floor; finally having believable evidence for that CPS claim I've been planning.
Progress: Objective one achieved, however completely underestimated the incompetence of CPS when it comes to filing claims made by one-year-olds.

Goal 11. The same thing we do every night, Pinky... Try to take over the world!
Progress: Still working toward this.

Goal 12. Watch fewer of those Pinky and the Brain videos The Dormouse got for Christmas.
Progress: Done. Now most interested in solving mysteries with "those meddling kids."

Goal 13. Once and for all, teach the big humans in the house that I am the Queen Of Everything, dammit! When you all come to realize that and bend to my will, life will be much easier for all concerned.
Progress: Queen of Everything objective accomplished. Getting big humans to bend to my will has proved slightly more difficult than I thought. Royal subjects aren't what they used to be.

3 cents added |

Children of the Corn

Posted on 12/30/2008 06:36:00 AM - by NG

This is what Stephen King's book jacket would have looked like if all the children in the corn had security issues, needed a pacifier, and refused to leave the corn unless their parents picked them up and carried them out of the corn.

1 cents added |

Soap Poisoning

Posted on 12/29/2008 06:07:00 AM - by NG

One of my new favorite bloggy obsessions is called Overheard in the Ward, which is a rip-off of Overheard in New York or Overheard in D.C.

Aside: Years ago when I first started my doing much of the graphic design/marketing at my job, to get myself up to speed I took some graphic design classes and looked at a LOT of flyers and programs. All that preparation really just served to convince me that there are no new ideas, just recycled ones. So it's always better to steal an idea rather than to try to come up with a completely original idea on your own. You will spend a lot more time and eventually you'll figure out someone's already had your idea anyway. If there was ever any proof of that, the Internets is it.

If it hadn't already been done to death, I could totally start my own website from just stuff I hear on Sunday. Some days that's my sole impetus for going to church.

Primary President speaking to a group of three to twelve year olds: "Okay, boys and girls, today we're going to talk about this Gospel Standard. *points to number seven on the list and reads aloud:*

I use the names of Heavenly Father and Jesus reverently.
I will not swear or use crude words.

What do you think that means when it says 'I will not use crude words?'"

Excitable, yet earnest eight year old jumping up and down and raising his hand: "Oooo! That like means like when some people say BAD words that you shouldn't say. Instead you should just say 'blank' or 'bleep'. Like, Oh my bleeping bleep!, or bleep bleep you bleep! or blank you blanking blank, or mother blanker."

Speechless Primary President: "Thanks Mikey, I think that clears it up for everyone."

If you want to know my opinion, she was asking for it.

9 cents added |

The Latest

Posted on 12/29/2008 05:07:00 AM - by NG

The newest bar sport craze around the social scene was Baby Tossing.

4 cents added |

Come, They Told Me

Posted on 12/28/2008 08:36:00 AM - by NG

I took this photo during a rare moment of not running around like a crazy person last month at my conference. I ended up bringing the whole fam-damily and the girls were invited into a few sessions. In one, they ended up being demonstration children for the topic of working with infants, toddlers and children. I think they should have earned a salary for their contributions to a successful conference. It's hard work, looking this adorable.

0 cents added |

The North Pole Has Melted

Posted on 12/27/2008 05:54:00 AM - by NG

On Christmas Eve, we decided to go see Santa waterski at the National Harbor. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be fifty degrees that day (you lie like a rug, weatherbug!) it was bitterly cold out on the pier. Finally The KoH and The Caterpillar ran for shelter while The Dormouse and I stuck it out to the bitter end.

I have to say, while I admire anyone who wants to get out and water ski in the Potomac river on Christmas Eve, it was no Cypress Gardens. There were a couple of "trick" skiers, but the show consisted pretty much of people water skiing from one pier to another and then turning around and coming back again. And even then, most of the skiers couldn't stay out of the water.

This guy was very fun to watch, but he ended up doing an impression of a buoy shortly after this picture was taken.

There was also a manufactured grudge match between The Grinch on a jet ski and Frosty The Snowman in a fishing boat. The Grinch came out on a jet ski and drove circles around poor, poor, Frosty in his boat, while the announcer unsuccessfully attempted to get the crowd to chant, "Go Grinch." No one really wanted to chant, so there was like one round of "Go Grinch" and then everyone quit. I think their teeth were just too busy chattering.

Frosty was the only one who didn't end up in the water by the end of his show. Of course he was pretty much just floating there.

Then Santa came out with all eight reindeer:

By the time they got out to one side of the harbor and turned around, there was only one reindeer left standing. Santa and seven of the ruminants were all floating in the water.

All in all, we had a nice time... especially at the restaurant where they make fresh guacamole at your table. I'm pretty sure I ate my weight in avocados.

0 cents added |

Meet Cosmo

Posted on 12/26/2008 12:40:00 PM - by NG

Cosmo has magic powers. Seriously. I've worked for fifteen plus months to hear my daughter utter anything resembling language and he accomplishes it in a mere matter of hours.

I don't know if "da! da! da!" counts as a word. In fact, I'd say it doesn't because she only uses it sparingly, but it's closer than anything we've heard so far.

1 cents added |

Aftermath

Posted on 12/26/2008 12:29:00 PM - by NG

When people ask if I had a good Christmas, all I have in response is, "Can't you tell by the state of our living room?"

2 cents added |

National Treasure

Posted on 12/26/2008 06:43:00 AM - by NG In: DC, Wild WV

This is The KingofHearts dragging our Christmas tree back to the car a few weeks ago. We went to our favorite place to cut our own tree again this year. Only it was colder than a witch's... elbow... that day and we spent all of five minutes picking it out.

"Which one do you like?"

"How about that one?"

"Do you like that one better?"

"Who cares, just get a tree and let's go."

"Quick take a picture."

"No time for that; just cut it down and get back in the car - I'll meet you there." *heads back to the car with children*

It seemed a little anti-climactic to drive all the way to West Virginia for a tree that we took two minutes choosing, two minutes cutting down and then ran back to the warmth of the car, but it ended up being one of the nicest looking trees we've ever had once we got it in the house. Maybe we should employ that method every year.

I realize that these giant public trees have to be over the top, but I don't understand why every year the National Christmas tree looks like such a pathetic mess. OK, I get that it's being decorated to look best at nighttime (although it's not that much better at night), but even so, don't you think they could put just a little more effort forth than covering the entire thing with a web of lights and obscuring any natural tree shape that ever existed? It might as well be an aluminum cone.

This tree at the National Harbor, on the other hand, is almost as large, looks great at night AND during the day. Sure, it's a little too perfect... but it kinda sorta looks like... you know... a tree... with branches and decorations instead of captured dejected spirit of a tree wearing a straight jacket.

Ours is a damn sight smaller, but I like it better than both of them. First of all, it looks like it's burning from the inside out.

Do you like our tree topper/ceiling fan? Personally, I think it's rather fetching. It's like a giant star. Maybe next year I'll cover it with aluminum foil and string lights on the blades.

Playing Fun With Long Exposures.

4 cents added |

Chinese Turkey

Posted on 12/25/2008 12:32:00 AM - by NG

Merry Christmas from The Dormouse. She gets a little distracted about half way through but hey, it's a long song and she's got a lot on her mind. Enjoy your day - however you spend it. And if you know a good Chinese restaurant, drop me a line.

4 cents added |

Tradition

Posted on 12/24/2008 06:41:00 AM - by NG In: ornaments

Last year, I explained how we have a Perfect Christmas Ornament tradition here in Wonderland.

I actually got it together this year to figure out what I wanted to get for them very early. Since The Dormouse has started kindergarten, she's been obsessed with the monkey bars on the playground at her school. Every waking moment for the first three months of the year was spent considering the monkey bars, practicing for the monkey bars, talking about the monkey bars or otherwise obsessing about the monkey bars (we really need to do something about the addictive personalities in this house). So I knew by September that I wanted her Christmas ornament this year to be a monkey on the monkey bars. That turned out to be a tall order. I Googled, looked on Christmas ornament sites, scoured Ebay, and found... nothing. Apparently, while monkeys are fairly common subjects for Christmas ornaments, monkey bars... not so much.

Enter: Etsy Alchemy. Oh my gosh, why had I never figured this out before???

I introduced my boss to Etsy a few months ago when she was looking for a unique baby shower gift and two days later, she threatened to fire me because she'd spent so much money on the site. If you haven't been there before, you are totally missing out. Etsy is like a giant Internet craft festival -- a place to buy and sell all things handmade. After about three weeks, my boss came in to work one day and threatened to fire me again. Since I hadn't embezzled any large amounts from the company that week, I asked why. "You never told me about Alchemy."

As much time as I've spent on Etsy, I never ventured out of the search box into all the other things Etsy has to offer. Alchemy is a section of Etsy where you commission art work. You post what you want... describe it, it's uses, what you want it to look like or become when it's done. Then the sellers compete for your business. They email you, describe how they understand your request and how they would fill it, give you a price, and then you decide who's bid to accept. It's like one of those Lending Tree commercials.

This conversation with my boss was in the midst of my Great Monkey Bar Ornament Search. So I went on Alchemy and posted my idea. Since I had no idea what I wanted the media to be, I was pretty vague. I got about a dozen bids and each one was totally different: porcelain, glass, resin, baked dough, etc. The hardest part about it was that I had a very difficult time choosing one because there were so many good ideas. Ultimately I went with something that was totally different from all The Dormouse's other ornaments, and unbreakable. (I've had some trouble with some of the ornaments of my youth lasting until my adulthood, so I've been particularly concerned about this in recent years.) I also met some really nice people and found way too many things to buy in the future. That's an unfortunate side effect of Alchemy.

So here it is... my needle felted monkey bar ornament for The Dormouse, created especially for us by Amy. Currently one of my favorite ornaments on the tree.

I love that he has a belly button.

For The Caterpillar, I had a much more straightforward vision and found her ornament quickly on Ebay.

Don't get why the teapot? Take a look at this and I think it'll become more clear:

3 cents added |

Welcome to Our Winter Wonderland

Posted on 12/23/2008 08:38:00 AM - by NG

And yes, it keeps your kids busy for a good couple of hours,
but there are drawbacks:

4 cents added |

For the Restofus

Posted on 12/23/2008 08:09:00 AM - by NG In: 13 Things

Alternate title: I Gotta Lotta Problems with You People!

Thirteen grievances on Festivus:

The string of lights second from the outlet on the Christmas tree decided to stop working and keeps all the other strings from lighting up... after the Christmas tree was fully decorated. So now there is one string of lights lit at the very bottom of the tree.
I dreamed last night that our house was overrun by fleas. (random!)
My mother sent one of those birthday cards that plays music a few weeks ago. This one has the Jingle Cats singing Happy Birthday... and my kids keep taking it out of the trash can when I'm not looking. How many times can one hear "meoooow... meow, meow, meeeoooow" set to music before needing to be institutionalized?
Yesterday, I spent four hours cleaning the house just so I could feel like I'm not wallowing in filth and squalor for a change and today it looks like all my work has been completely undone.
My skin feels like it might crack and peel off my body - apparently I've gotten used to the Washington humidity.
Every time one of those "buy her diamonds to show her you love her" Christmas commercials comes on the television, my husband rolls his eyes and makes a "Pffffffsh" sound. (He is incredibly indignant about the jewelry industry and it's attempts at manipulation.) Me? What I want for Christmas is for him to stop making that sound.
The Dormouse and I make Cake Balls to give to neighbors the other day. (Because I love saying "cake balls.") But I accidentally cooked the sugar out of chocolate when melting it, making the cake balls unacceptable for giving out to others, but not inedible. Since I don't let the kids have a lot of sweets, guess who's eaten most of them?
The Small One prefers to communicate through non-stop whine alternated with long periods of screech, rather than signs or words.
Despite the fact that The Large One has a vocabulary of several thousand words, she seems to prefer the Whine Method of Communication as well.
I have some really good books that I wanted to read over the holiday but I can't get through a single paragraph without being interrupted.
More than one year later, I'm still blaming my current dress size on "baby weight."
My new favorite show, Leverage, requires me to actually pay undivided attention to the television from the first minute to the last... which is nigh impossible in my house.
Molasses (I really hate that stuff)
(special bonus Festivus Grievance) That the KoH taught The Dormouse to whistle.

2 cents added |

Solidarity

Posted on 12/23/2008 06:37:00 AM - by NG

This is for Beth. Dear, I have half as many kids to photograph as you do and still can't get a decent photo of both of them together. Don't feel pregnant, you're not alone.