Scene: The Dormouse is amusing herself in her room with a set of paper dolls. I put The Caterpillar on the floor on a blanket for a little tummy time and she doesn't immediately start screaming for once.

Now's my chance.

I run into the kitchen to get something to eat, drunk with the heady awareness that for a moment, I do not have to hold a wriggly infant, an unwieldy child, or both for a few moments while I rummage through the refrigerator.

While I'm there I hear from the other room, The Dormouse talking to The Caterpillar in her falsetto, lilt-y voice reserved only for this baby:

"Are you having tummy time? Give me a smile. Are you looking around the world? Oh! You gave me a smile! Look at you! You're so tall! You're a stand-y girl. Do you want to stand up?...."

It occurs to me that what is coming next is not good. The Large One may be readying an attempt to pick up the Small One. So I put down the milk and head back to the living room, stat.

But before I can even get there, I hear: "Look at you standing up...." THUD.

If The Caterpillar could talk, I think she'd ask to file a restraining order.