Forget the sable, Santa, concentrate on the sleep.

13 Things I Want for Christmas
  1. A year's free gas (ultimately, the monetary value on this would far exceed any diamond earrings or gold tennis bracelet)
  2. A cat that purrs and cuddles on your lap - or at least that doesn't leave scars
  3. Four consecutive hours of sleep
  4. Grass to grow in my backyard - and someone to mow it regularly
  5. Sidewalks in my neighborhood
  6. Maid service
  7. A third arm with which to wrestle fussy baby while nursing
  8. Flying cars (“It is the year 2000, but where are the flying cars? I was promised flying cars.”)
  9. A sugar daddy
  10. My own roads
  11. A diaper bag that does not slide off my shoulder
  12. Twenty minutes in the bathroom without having to utter the phrase "Close the door, please. Give momma some privacy."
  13. The writers' strike to end and improve my late night TV selections