Thirteen Resolutions for 2008 (as told to me by The Caterpillar):
  1. Gain control of my neck muscles so everyone will stop calling me "Bobblehead".
  2. Grow this hole in my head closed.
  3. Develop an eye color.
  4. When parents give me a toy, stop hitting self in face with it.
  5. Cut teeth, because breastfeeding has become way too easy for Momma by now.
  6. Solve Poincare's Conjecture. Wait -- somebody already did it. Instead, learn to poop on a regular schedule.
  7. Figure out which is day and which is night... so that Momma will Stop. Complaining. Already.
  8. Get Momma to stop knocking the remote control off the bedside table and into the bassinet in the middle of the night.
  9. Survive big sister's love.
  10. Successfully wiggle out of Momma's grasp and get dropped on the floor; finally having believable evidence for that CPS claim I've been planning.
  11. The same thing we do every night, Pinky... Try to take over the world!
  12. Watch fewer of those Pinky and the Brain videos The Dormouse got for Christmas.
  13. Once and for all, teach the big humans in the house that I am the Queen Of Everything, dammit! When you all come to realize that and bend to my will, life will be much easier for all concerned.