The KingofHearts picked up dinner from Taco Bell last night. (Aside: just what do they put in their food? Personally, I think they sprinkle every batch of beans with a little bit of crack because there is no way food that is mass prepared like that should taste so good. But I digress.) While sitting at the table begging The Dormouse to stop interrogating a piece of lettuce and eat, I happened to look down at the giant pile of hot sauce packets he'd grabbed on the way out and noticed this printed on the front:
Will you marry me?

I was pretty sure this wasn't a grand, romantic gesture cleverly orchestrated by The KingofHearts, because... you know... I already did that (twice). So I looked at another packet, and another and another. What I discovered was that each packet of sauce has a different pithy Something printed on it.

"Hey, look at this," I exclaimed as I showed The KoH.

"You've never seen that before?"

"You mean they've always been like this?"

"Uh huh."

"For how long?"

"A couple of years, at least."

Apparently, longer than that.

I'd like to believe that I'd missed it because I seldom eat fast food. Alas, I just never expected to find messages of hope and humor on my hot sauce. So much for my powers of observation.

Here's a rundown of what Hot Sauce is trying to say, for those similarly surprised by this fact, uncovered:
  • Will you marry me?
  • Will you scratch my back?
  • Tah Dah!
  • The feeling is mutual
  • Ketchup? Puh-leese.
  • Thanks for rescuing me, Fire was getting on my nerves (this, on a Hot packet)
  • I'm just doing this between films.
  • I collect straws.
  • Does a grilled stuffed burrito qualify for the carpool lane?
  • Ahhh.... we meet again.
  • Not it!
  • Can I drive?
  • Ooh! Ooh! I call glove compartment.
  • This space for rent. Inquire within.
  • I'm taking the day off. See next packet.
  • Help! I can't tell where I am. It's dark and I can hear laughing.
  • At night the sporks pick on me.

I've learned three things from this illumination: 1) I should look around more often. 2) We get entirely too much hot sauce when ordering from Taco Bell 3) Taco Bell has a pretty funny website.