Last year on Thanksgiving I posted the somewhat predictable, Thirteen Things for Which I am Thankful -- chalk it up to hormones. This year, I'll attempt to appease Monica, whose cold, black heart hates Thanksgiving, and inform you of the opposite.

Thirteen Things for Which I am Decidedly UnThankful:
  1. Constant media speculation about Black Friday, how crowded the mall will be, and how much money stores will make - especially in "this economy."
  2. The ridiculously awful song, Christmas Shoes, which will now be playing on the radio every time I get in the car, causing me to yell, "Gaaaaaaaaahhh!" whenever I hear it.
  3. Having to go to the grocery store the night before Thanksgiving for ONE THING and finding it's located in the spice aisle.
  4. Waking up in the middle of the night and seeing clothes lying on the floor, which I constantly mistake to be the cat I just put to sleep.
  5. Having so much work to do that I'd rather go into the office to get it all done than stay home on Thanksgiving.
  6. When you live on the West Coast, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade starts at 6:00 am and is well over by 9:00 am giving you something to watch on television in those early morning hours before you feel like getting up to consider cooking a meal. When you live on the East Coast like I do now, it doesn't start until 9:00. I'll bet I haven't seen a full fifteen minutes of that parade once since I've lived here.
  7. Waking up at two in the morning, chocking on my own snot. (I apologize for the uncomfortable image that must paint, but take solace in the fact that really it's much worse when you're the one doing the choking.)
  8. Airports. And babies who throw fits in them. When you're with a friend who doesn't have kids. And now probably never will.
  9. Colleagues who happen to be on the same flight as you and complain to your face about the child that sat behind them on the first leg of the journey who talked and made noise "all the way to Chicago" while you are standing there with your two kids who will probably do the exact same thing once you board the plane you are waiting in line to get on in just a few minutes.
  10. That that same colleague seems to have forgotten he/she has two kids of his/her own because he/she just happens to be traveling alone today.
  11. Refrigerators that aren't big enough to hold a turkey brining container which contains Out of this World Turkey Brine and a thirteen pound turkey (free, thanks to Parent Bloggers' Network) requiring you to rearrange the entire contents of the fridge.
  12. Spending six hours cleaning the house the week before I went out of town just so I could come home to a clean house and then having two children completely undo those efforts less than fifteen minutes after walking through the door.
  13. Molasses