Last year The Caterpillar set some New Year's Resolutions. I asked her to provide an update for all those tracking her progress.

Goal 1. Gain control of my neck muscles so everyone will stop calling me "Bobblehead".
Progress: Done and done. Now to shake the newly acquired nickname, "Teakettle."

Goal 2. Grow this hole in my head closed.
Progress: Mostly done.

Goal 3. Develop an eye color.
Progress: Completed. Eye color is firmly and unquestionably brown.

Goal 4. When parents give me a toy, stop hitting self in face with it.
Progress: Completed. New goal: Stop hitting parents in face with toy.

Goal 5. Cut teeth, because breastfeeding has become way too easy for Momma by now.
Progress: Ongoing.

Goal 6. Solve Poincare's Conjecture. Wait -- somebody already did it. Instead, learn to poop on a regular schedule.
Progress: Little progress made toward goal. Continue efforts toward this end.

Goal 7. Figure out which is day and which is night... so that Momma will Stop. Complaining. Already.
Progress: Now know which is day and night. Do not care, however, whether I'm awake during either. Also, Momma will always find something to complain about.

Goal 8. Get Momma to stop knocking the remote control off the bedside table and into the bassinet in the middle of the night.
Progress: Achieved by moving bed into another room.

Goal 9. Survive big sister's love.
Progress: Uncertain.

Goal 10. Successfully wiggle out of Momma's grasp and get dropped on the floor; finally having believable evidence for that CPS claim I've been planning.
Progress: Objective one achieved, however completely underestimated the incompetence of CPS when it comes to filing claims made by one-year-olds.

Goal 11. The same thing we do every night, Pinky... Try to take over the world!
Progress: Still working toward this.

Goal 12. Watch fewer of those Pinky and the Brain videos The Dormouse got for Christmas.
Progress: Done. Now most interested in solving mysteries with "those meddling kids."

Goal 13. Once and for all, teach the big humans in the house that I am the Queen Of Everything, dammit! When you all come to realize that and bend to my will, life will be much easier for all concerned.
Progress: Queen of Everything objective accomplished. Getting big humans to bend to my will has proved slightly more difficult than I thought. Royal subjects aren't what they used to be.