A friend put this up on her Facebook page recently and since I don't really do "The Facebook" due to a particular set of circumstances that involves nosy and/or over sharing people and perhaps a lack of judgment which allowed people I work with to figure out that I had a Facebook page, I shall post it here.

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Here are questions for the people who are a little older...

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Day care. Especially during the summer when there are two kids to worry about. They are Sucking. Me. Dry.

2. Do you miss being a child?
I have very little memory of being a child. Maybe that's because I have something to repress, but more likly that I just have a poor memory.

3. Chore you hate the most?
Moving the dirty dishes my husband left on the counter twelve inches downward into the empty dishwasher.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Romantic dinner? People have those? Actually, back in my life BK (before kids), I remember coming home from work one day and having The KoH meet me at the front door, wearing a suit and tie. When I asked what the heck was up why such a nice surprise, he ushered me into the kitchen where he'd covered the kitchen table with newspaper, purchased a half bushel of blue crab, diet coke and mallets and lit candles for ambiance. We gorged ourselves on blue crab and never left the house. I know this looks awful to those who have never spent any significant time in the area; it did to me when I first moved here. Blue crab is not for the faint of heart, but once you get used to it there's nothing better -- especially with someone you love who doesn't mind mustard on your cheek.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I'd buy better shoes.

6. Name of your first grade teacher?
I talked about her here - question number eight.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Oh any number of things... sitting in a spa in the middle of the day with no bills and no need to work and no requirements, might be nice.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A veterinarian.

9. How many colleges did you attend?
Officially, two.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I haven't yet gotten dressed and this is what I was wearing when I went to bed.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I have a longstanding disdain for the entire gasoline industry.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I don't use an alarm to wake up. It's a genetic defect where even when I plan to get up hours before my usual wake up time, I wake up fifteen minutes before the alarm goes off. Handy when you're planning a trip... sucky when you haven't slept two hours straight in months and you can't make yourself sleep in even when you have the chance.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Oh sweet, sweet quiet. This is my favorite time of the day.

14. What famous people would you like to have dinner with?
Thomas Jefferson, Al Jolson, Igor Stravinsky, Ayn Rand, Humphrey Bogart, Anne Sexton, Jon Stewart, Charlie Chaplin, Harry Truman, Alan Alda, John Cusack, Frank Lloyd Wright, ...and then I'd probably need to invite someone who was a cop to control the fight that will inevitably break out over dinner.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
More times than I care to list here. For awhile, I started to think of cars as disposable.

16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I'm pretty sure I might be involuntarily committed if I didn't find something to do. I would really love the chance choose what to do though.

17. Get up early or sleep in?
See above genetic defect comment. A couple of weeks ago when I was sick, The KoH got up and took the girls into another room and closed the bedroom door and I took a codeine pill to quell my coughing and went back to sleep. I slept until almost 10:00. It was the only time in the last thirty years that I've done that.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character? Jinks
the Cat. It's random and esoteric, and I know it dates me. I care very little about this. I'm also a big fan of Tom and Jerry, but not the ones where they're friends. Those ones suck.

19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Watch old movies - like from the 1940s and 1950s. The reason this is done at night is because when I watch during the day, everyone complains that I'm watching black and white tv and then talks through the dialogue so I can't hear anything.

20. When did you first start feeling old?
I'd say when I was about eight.

21. Favorite lunch meat? Pastrami.

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? A newfound vow to never go to Wal-Mart again.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No, but I do think it needs some work. Marriage doesn't exactly have the greatest track record as far as being respected by those who have been entering into it for the last couple of millennia.

24. A favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I gave you a whole list of them not too long ago.

25. What's your favorite drink?
Very cold Diet Coke... ah sweet ambrosia.

26. Whom from high school would you like to run in to? My opinion about high school and high school reunions is that the people I want to keep in touch with, I already do. And the rest of them? I don't really care to see, or they'd have been in the first group.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
NPR. It's the only legitimate news source I listen to.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Ugh. Can I just respectfully abstain from this one?

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Oh, there's one or two in there.

30. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
That would be a lawyer in a different office and I don't feel I know him well enough to render an opinion. But I do often stare at him through the window and try to make him laugh. He comletely ignores me.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
Yes, but it was a bit too late.

32. Last book you finished reading? Michael J. Fox's Always Looking Up.

33. Do you have a teddy bear?
Yes. It is dressed in a fedora hat and a trenchcoat... it's name is Humphrey Beargart.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
On a bus in the gran chaco.

35. Do you go to church?

36. How old are you?

37. Have you ever been arrested?
Not yet.

38. Have you ever attended a public protest against a major corporation or a government? Yes.

39. Do you feel that your type of employment traps you or liberates you? Golden handcuffs.

40. Is voting a duty, a privilege, a right, or an option?
Thanks to our form of government, it's all four.

41. Have you ever sat on a jury? Yes. I love this story. The case was two guys who broke into a tire store at night and stole all the money in the cash register. Their lawyer wasn't arguing that they were innocent. Instead the defense was, and I'm not kidding about this, "These guys were so drunk, they didn't know WHAT they were doing." And, then, in a startling move of brilliance, they did not object when, during the jury selection process, they asked all the prospective jurors their opinions and personal choices on drinking and alcohol and then proceeded to put a Mormon on the jury.

42. Have you ever seen someone die?
Yes. Enough said.

43. Are you making any preparations for old age or for retirement?
Yes, but I fear what I'm able to do will still mean I cannot retire until I'm ninety-nine.

44. Do you have children?
If you don't know the answer to that question after reading this blog, you haven't been paying attention.

45. Have you ever served in your country's armed forces?
No, but my husband has - and being a spouse of someone serving is a service unto its own. I have the utmost respect for spouses who are married to military personnel and make it work.

46. How is your relationship with your parents different from what it was when you were a child? I think there's a natural progression of that relationship as people grow up and it's inevitable that it will change. The problem is that most people refuse to accept that.

47. Have you ever had a substantial conversation with a homeless person?
Yes, but I'm afraid he will not remember any of it.

48. If life is "a journey", then where are you going?
Off the rails?