About fifteen years ago, I bought this little guy at a craft store and painted him with white and black craft paint. He remains my favorite Halloween decoration of all time. 

And maybe Christmas decoration too, because sometimes I just put a Santa hat on him and leave him up until January.

Just showing you that because that's about as dressed up as I got for Halloween and I want to prove that I'm not a Halloween Scrooge.

Over the years, I've spent considerable time thinking up costumes and they tend to be in the nature of conceptual, minimalist, or at least inappropriate for the most part:

One year I went as a shower.

One year I wore a slip that I had ironed-on pictures of Sigmund Freud all over it. (Get it?)

During the year of all the anthrax scares I went to work dressed as Suspicious Mail.

But ever since Team Wonderland came along, I've not had time to obsess over my own costumes.  That is because all the energy that can be spent obsessing goes into obsessing about their costumes.

Some friends joined us for Trick or Treating and walked The Shortlings around the neighborhood with me.  Even they were more dressed up than me.

The rest of my family tends to over-costume themselves.  The Dormouse was a Blue Sorceress with about a dozen props you can't even see in this photo. 

That bottle around her waist was filled with glitter which she tossed at people indiscriminately.

The KingofHearts was a Medjai warrior:
Don't know what that is?  Well, my friend, that's because it's from a twelve year old movie.  But his costume is based on an outfit that Oded Fehr pushed his fine, fine body into and that's enough for me to never ever complain.

The Caterpillar was a witch.  But not just any witch:

she was a "Love Witch." 

I don't know what that is either, but I did not ask her to explain, fearing the answer.

The KingofHearts stayed at home to scare neighborhood kids pass out candy while rest of us walked The Shortlings around the neighborhood and criticized their candy-gathering skillz. Seriously, when we were kids, we had getting as much candy as possible down to a science.  We would have divided up the neighborhood and mapped out the fastest way to reach the most houses.  Then honed in our focus, running from house to house with the equation more time slowly walking between houses = less candy in our pillow cases at the end of the night seared into our pre-pubescent brains.  

Not my kids. These two poster children for ADD actually had to be reminded they were Trick or Treating at least a dozen times.

How many brown leaves lying in the street can one child stop to investigate?

At some point, someone at one of the houses yelled out to us while we waited at the curb for The Dormouse and Caterpillar to knock on her door.  She wanted to know what the adults' costumes were so I yelled back,

"Well, she's Merida and he's the Assassin."

"Yes, but what are you?"

"Oh me?" I hollered.  "I'm Mom."

It wasn't until blocks later that I realized I was still wearing The Caterpillar's headpiece from the school parade earlier in the day and she probably had every reason to think I was dressed as SOMEthing because of the giant spider perched atop my head:

Oh well.

Happy Halloween from:

The Whiny Witch

The Self-Obsessed Sorceress