About a year ago, The Shortlings decided that they needed ways to discuss matters of great importance without parental intervention. Ordinarily, I think most kids would probably just discover that talking in hushed tones or in another room would suffice, but not my kids. My kids have carefully adapted The KingofHearts' mission statement: Making the complicated even more complicated since 2003.
They figured out that if one of them is downstairs and sitting next to a heating vent, while the other is upstairs sitting next to a heating vent, they can kindasorta hear each other talk through the heating vents. This method of communication is about as effective as two tin cans on a string, however, and they need to shout loudly in order to be understood. So while the decibel level of a normal conversation between the two of them when they're in the same room would be comparable to, say, a parrot in your living room or a bear with a chain saw; when they talk through the vents, they raise the stakes and hold conversations of jet airplane engine proportions.
Actual conversation overheard:
"Hey, it's really cool that we can talk privately like this, isn't it?"
"What did you say?"
"I SAID, IT'S REALLY COOL THAT WE CAN TALK PRIVATELY LIKE THIS ISN'T IT?"
"HUH?"
"I SAAAIIID, IT'S REALLY COOL THAT WE CAN TALK PRIVATELY LIKE THIS ISN'T IT?"
"YES. I'M GLAD THAT MOM AND DAD CAN'T HEAR US."
"RIGHT. IT'S LIKE OUR OWN SECRET WAY OF TALKING."
Oh, irony, thy name is Kid.
But I guess their throats get tired eventually so they also invented a new language which could be used in front of The Parents when there's not a television program of phone conversation to down out. This, typically, is reserved for the car when they need to talk without fear of being overheard and/or when I tell them to STOP YELLING ALREADY YOU ARE THREE FEET AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER. Sometimes they call it "Spanish," sometimes it's a "Fairy Language," sometimes they just call it their own, made-up Sister Language. Whatever they call it, it ends up being worthy of a studio movie treatment starring Jodie Foster.
When I overhear them discussing it, they are clearly exceptionally pleased with themselves for coming up with this idea. When you think about it, the idioglossia is brilliant: a secret twin language no one knows. But the main problem with their otherwise brilliant idea is that they don't even know the language. So it every sentence is said in the secret language, but then each sentence requires immediate translation into English, so I'm not entirely sure it really accomplishes what they set out to do.
One day, while we were sitting in the car waiting on The KoH for something, I secretly recorded this. It's like my own secret way of mocking them.
I'd point out the fatal flaw in their plan, but at least this way I'll always know what's going on.
They figured out that if one of them is downstairs and sitting next to a heating vent, while the other is upstairs sitting next to a heating vent, they can kindasorta hear each other talk through the heating vents. This method of communication is about as effective as two tin cans on a string, however, and they need to shout loudly in order to be understood. So while the decibel level of a normal conversation between the two of them when they're in the same room would be comparable to, say, a parrot in your living room or a bear with a chain saw; when they talk through the vents, they raise the stakes and hold conversations of jet airplane engine proportions.
Actual conversation overheard:
"Hey, it's really cool that we can talk privately like this, isn't it?"
"What did you say?"
"I SAID, IT'S REALLY COOL THAT WE CAN TALK PRIVATELY LIKE THIS ISN'T IT?"
"HUH?"
"I SAAAIIID, IT'S REALLY COOL THAT WE CAN TALK PRIVATELY LIKE THIS ISN'T IT?"
"YES. I'M GLAD THAT MOM AND DAD CAN'T HEAR US."
"RIGHT. IT'S LIKE OUR OWN SECRET WAY OF TALKING."
Oh, irony, thy name is Kid.
But I guess their throats get tired eventually so they also invented a new language which could be used in front of The Parents when there's not a television program of phone conversation to down out. This, typically, is reserved for the car when they need to talk without fear of being overheard and/or when I tell them to STOP YELLING ALREADY YOU ARE THREE FEET AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER. Sometimes they call it "Spanish," sometimes it's a "Fairy Language," sometimes they just call it their own, made-up Sister Language. Whatever they call it, it ends up being worthy of a studio movie treatment starring Jodie Foster.
When I overhear them discussing it, they are clearly exceptionally pleased with themselves for coming up with this idea. When you think about it, the idioglossia is brilliant: a secret twin language no one knows. But the main problem with their otherwise brilliant idea is that they don't even know the language. So it every sentence is said in the secret language, but then each sentence requires immediate translation into English, so I'm not entirely sure it really accomplishes what they set out to do.
One day, while we were sitting in the car waiting on The KoH for something, I secretly recorded this. It's like my own secret way of mocking them.
I'd point out the fatal flaw in their plan, but at least this way I'll always know what's going on.
Share:
-
|
0 Response to "For Our Ears Only"
Post a Comment