Scene: I'm home alone with the girls and the doorbell rings. Ordinarily, I'm not weird about that type of thing, but lately, I've been a bit more careful about everything, so when I realize I do not know the guy standing there, I open the door, but immediately make a show of locking the screen door.

The man standing there has a clipboard and credentials from Comcast around his neck.

Him: I'm looking for Alice?

Me: Yes?

Him: Is that you?

Me: Yes.

Him: You used to have your television and internet service with us?

Me: Yes?

Him: You want it back?

Me: Oh! I see.... yeah. Absolutely not.

Him (looking hurt): Why?

Me: Because I wasn't happy with the service. That's why I switched.

Him: *chuckles in disbelief* Well why did you switch?

Me: Because in all my life from any company any where, tv service or otherwise, I've never experienced worse customer service than I did when I had Comcast.

Him: *looks at me like I'm the biggest bitch he's met all week*

Me: No, seriously... write that down. I've never had worse service than Comcast and while I'm happy with the service I have currently, even if I weren't, I still wouldn't switch back to Comcast.

Him: Well, you don't have to be like that about it.

Me: Dude, you asked.