Having a baby, you get to be up at lot at night. And being up a lot at night, you get to watch an unhealthy amount of late night TV. What I've recently discovered is that there is nothing like late night television to tell you whose career is in the crapper.

Remember when Mr. T was the next big thing? Remember when Rocky II came out and he was everywhere and people thought, "Wow, I'd like to have HIS money?" Remember when he wore one gold chain for each million he'd made -- and he wore a LOT of gold chains?

Last night I caught an infomercial for this product, with guest celebrity host, yep, you guessed it: TV Action Hero Mr. T.

It's sad enough that he's relegated to appearing at 3:00 am on some cable access channel that is, essentially, off the air, poor guy, but I actually watched him look into the camera, point and utter this phrase:

"I pity the fool who doesn't order right now!"

I find this extraordinarily wonderful. Not just because he managed to do this without the slightest indication on his face that as soon as the director yelled "Cut" he was headed straight for the showers to wash the stench of shame and desperation off his body, but because what America wants is more one-dimensional characters with a catch phrase.