So here's what would be a funny story, if it didn't make me look so sad.

I have a colleague who went on an extended trip overseas a few months ago. This is someone I really only see and work with once a month or less, but we have a fairly good working relationship and we both have cats, so there's something we talk about occasionally.

The month before she left, she let me know what her out of town schedule would be so I could know when to expect her and we chatted about the Preparing For The Trip and how it was all going. She complained that she couldn't find anyone to feed her cat while she was away and didn't know what to do. I suggested her husband, since he would be staying home. There was a whole sub-story about how he refuses to take care of the cat while she leaves and all her kids are too far away to come over daily.

I wisely left alone the fact that her lazy-assed husband couldn't be bothered to pour some kibble into a bowl once a day and scoop out the litter box a couple of times. Finally, I said, "Well... if you don't find anyone, give me a call and I'll come by - you don't live that far from me and I could stop in on my way to work." She ended up finding some kid in the neighborhood and I never needed to go over. Whew! I only meant to sound nice, not actually be nice.

So anyway... speed forward a couple of months... I've totally forgotten about the cat offer. She gets back from her trip and I see her a few weeks later. I spend hours, HOURS I tell you, hearing about the trip. Which, I can live with because it's an interesting location and I know I'll only see her and thus hear this story once this month. I said something to the effect of, "Bring a couple of pictures next time you come, I'd really like to see some." She made a special trip to come back the next day and show me all 600 photographs she took. No one else in the office was this lucky, just me.

Fast forward another few weeks. I always send everyone in my office one of our Christmas cards... just to remind them funny and creative I am and to put all their store bought, lameo cards to shame, you know? It's a thing. But I digress. In the past, I've included her on the Christmas Card List and this year was no different. Over the Christmas break, I got an email from her at my personal email address referencing my card and asking all sorts of questions about it: "I didn't know _____ happened to you? How did ________ turn out?" Which I answered.

Then suddenly, I started getting tons of email from her. Funny forwards... little updates on her schedule and plans, feel good messages for the day.... So the other day, I'm musing to the KingofHearts about this - not that it bothered me or anything, I'm just wondering aloud why she's all of the sudden acting like we're friends or something.

He starts asking questions, and I tell him the cat story. And the Christmas card story. And the vacation photos story. He shakes his head and tsk, tsks, me - then says, "Well, whatcha got yourself there, my dear, is a 'friend'."

Me: "OH MY GOSH, SHE'S KIND OF MY FRIEND!"

 Is it wrong that the first thing I thought was "How can I work this to my advantage?"

And the second thing I thought was "This would make a funny blog post!"

Is it any wonder that Monica, who's first comment when I told her this story was "how could you pawn her off on someone else?" and random bloggers who don't know what I look like are the only people with whom I have anything close to a friend-type relationship?

Just one further example in the long list of Reasons I Am Damaged.