Alice's Adventures Underground

Fortunately, one of the Enigma Project's local associates, Mike Gilbert, was a surveyor by profession and we wasted little time in getting him to assess the anomaly. Mike examined the road with a transit and carefully marked it off, making notes all the while. When finished he presented us with a drawing of his survey, the results of which were quite surprising. The road's slight "rise" was, in fact, a "fall." Yes, contrary to what the eye perceived, Gravity Hill was actually a decline. Summarily, we learned that it was not a place where Nature's laws go awry, but rather, a unique location for an optical illusion. Evidently, the lay of the land, the sway of the trees, and so forth set the stage for an unusual, though not mysterious, error in visual perception.

1. Definately Definitely
   
2. Marraige Marriage
3. Therpay Therapy... problematic because I am a therapist.
4. BWT BTW
5. teh the... yeah, that one's a real problem
   
6. occaision occasion
7. committment commitment
8. My maiden name... of course no one else could spell it either, so I wasn't alone there
9. everytime every time
   
10. comittee committee
    
11. mispell misspell... ironic, that
12. alot a lot
    
13. aright alright... this one just makes me look like a rap artist poser
    

Dear Age Five,

I hate you.

Signed,

The Dormouse's Mother

Is it better to be single or married? It's better to be married.

Cartoon by Rex Babin

Katie Couric: "You've been called a hero by a lot of people; how do you feel about that?"

Sullenberger: "I don't feel comfortable embracing it, but I don't want to deny it. I don't want to diminish their thankful feeling toward me by telling them that they're wrong. And I'm beginning to understand why they might feel that way."

Couric: "Why is that?"

Sullenberger: "Something about this episode has captured people's imagination. I think they want good news. I think they want to feel hopeful again. And if I can help in that way, I will."

"In lieu of a total sugar packed celebration, we are asking that our menu include: fruit salad, cupcakes, cookies, cake, candy, candy hearts and juice box drinks."

Dear Alice -

Thank you for picking up on time.

hope your family benefit from it, my homeschooling kids love to play the tape and follow in the booklet, its inprove there reading, my 6 years old can read all the booklet without any help.

enjoy!

1. Dulce de Leche (and not the dulce de leche flavored items they're trying to push in the states... the real deal from South America)
2. This recipe for sweet potatoes
   
3. John Cusack
4. Ice cream... any time, any flavor (I have this pet theory that the manna that's spoken of in the Old Testament was actually ice cream. Think about it: it was white, it was sweet, it was comparable to hoarfrost, and they had to collect it before it was melted by the heat of the sun. No wonder the Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years, I'd delay my arrival too if it meant I didn't have to cook and could eat ice cream for breakfast.)
5. Avocado milk shakes (Seriously, I'm not pulling your leg... they are good.)
   

1. The first and second violin parts to Leroy Anderson's "A Christmas Festival"
2. The "Scooby Doo Theme Song" (This version, of course, as any Scooby aficionado will tell you is the only true and complete version that exists.)
3. "Theme from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air" (Shut up. I know.)
4. "Let George Do It." (I auditioned for my elementary school production of this musical when I was in fifth grade and was horribly disappointed to not get one of the leading parts like Martha Washington or Betsy Ross. Instead I got the part of the Narrator. Yawn! What I didn't know at that point was as it turned out the narrator was the biggest part in the play. I was the only kid in the school who sang a solo, had to memorize more than three lines, and/or was on stage for more than ten minutes. I was still disappointed by the whole thing because I didn't get to wear a costume and a wig. My performing career has been all downhill from there.) Edited to add: My father just sent this photo of the aforementioned musical. Apparently, I was allowed to wear a hat. But as you can see behind me, all those kids wore period costumes. Clearly rendering my solo and crappy straw hat much less cool.
   
5. Bruch's Violin Concerto in G minor. I studied this piece for six months with one violin teacher, then transferred schools and got a new teacher who decided I needed to study it with her... and we worked on it for a year. I loved the piece but even Max Bruch would have gouged his own eyes out with a violin bow and filled the empty sockets with rosin cakes if he'd have had to play it over and over again for a year and a half.
   

1. The bathroom - without two pairs of small eyes looking at me through the door
2. Aruba
3. Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you to
   
4. Key Largo
5. Montego, baby why don't we go

1. Apricot fruit leather
2. A string bikini
3. A politically themed t-shirt
   
4. The wide-eyed look of innocence and optimism
5. A size 4
   

1. Normally, I would say CSI, but I'm currently going through Grissom withdrawal and not sure how the whole Lawrence Fishburne thing is going to pan out. So far it looks disappointing.
   
2. Leverage (this is my favorite new show on television... I love this show so much I want to marry it and have lots of syndicated children-shows.)
   
3. Ace of Cakes - it makes me want to get my practice marriage over with so I can plan another wedding and order a really cool cake.
4. My boyfriend's show, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
   
5. Anything that features behind the scenes stuff in a factory, How It's Made, Unwrapped, How Stuff Works, etc.

1. Spending hours cleaning up the house only to turn my back and find someone in my family has, in five seconds, undone it all.
2. People of another generation who constantly feel the need to tell me how much harder they had when they were raising kids.
3. News pundits - political or otherwise.
4. Falling asleep at 9:00 pm and missing most of the most exciting Superbowl in history. (ordinarily, I'm not must of a football fanatic - but I do love a good nail biter and I was rooting for the underdogs here.)
   
5. Being itchy.
   

1. My my daughter's Easy Bake Oven
2. Lincoln Logs.
3. This thing my dad gave me ages ago where you could run circuits on a board and power a small light or a radio or something. Coolest. Thing. Ever.
4. iPod
5. Eco-sphere
   

Five Things I Was Doing Ten Years Ago:

1. Singing the tune from Hamsterdance.com
2. Making El Niño jokes ("Yo soy El Niño. That's Spanish for... The Niño!")
3. Torturing my cat with a laser pointer.
   
4. Just beginning my collection of fifty state quarters
5. Making plans to mitigate the impending disaster that would take down life as we then knew it and turn our world into a post-apocalyptic stereotype from a Mad Max movie. (Also known as Y2K.)
   

Five Things On My To-Do List Today:

1. Get an extended weather report from the sleepy, inconsistent, sciurid subject of a tongue twister.
2. Manage to get dressed before three p.m.
3. Try and get through the day with no temper tantrums... and keep the children from throwing a temper tantrum too.
   
4. Shower. (I like to set the bar low... then I feel more successful at the end of the day.)
   
5. Brush my teeth twice. (This however, would be ambitious.)
   

1. Sleep in a bed made of nachos.
2. Get my own roads.
3. I would not quit my job... I would just hire someone to do my job. And then watch in secret when that person shows up sitting at my desk and explains that situation to my boss.
4. Offer someone a million dollars to sleep with her husband. Then say, "Psych!"
5. Find that melodramatic reporter guy on the NBC channel local news and force him into early retirement.
   

Five Places I've Lived:

1. In a converted hotel.
2. In a car.
   
3. In a chair in front of the television while nursing a child - for months at a time.
   
4. In an apartment where the walls didn't go all the way to the roof.
5. On the grounds of a mental hospital.
   

Five Jobs I've Had:

1. Singing waitress.
2. Professional orchestra part eraser (as in the person who erases the parts).
3. Playing piano for a Tri Delta rush week skit performance. ("Delta, Delta, Delta can I help ya, help ya, help ya?")
   
4. Weekend suicide prevention watch director.
5. Steel drum band member.
   

1. Eliza Dushku (someone please tell me you get the relevance to the title of this post)
2. John Cusack (John, if you don't want to post this on your blog, you can just come to my house and whisper it in my ear.)
   
3. The guy on the street who begs for a dollar and then runs to the corner store to buy lottery tickets with your money
4. Five (the band)
   
5. Pentaphobics