Last year, I posted an interview I did with The Dormouse about love, Valentines' Day and all things love-related. It was an idea completely ripped off from late night talk show hosts, I fully admit, but I'll wager that it wasn't their idea either, so I think I'm okay with the plagiarism police.

Since August, when she started kindergarten, this child has aged about six years. She rivals teenagers in moodiness, sass, and just generally being a pain around the house. I've actually started several posts disguised as letters to Age Five to tell it how I feel about it. Nearly all of them go pretty much the same way:
Dear Age Five,

I hate you.

Signed,

The Dormouse's Mother

It's possible that I could flesh out my feelings a little more on this subject but my time has been consumed with yelling at my daughter that it shouldn't take twenty minutes to put on one sock.

It's not that I don't love my daughter and who she is right now. It's just that she's become more of a handful. Issues that were previously resolved with a three minute time out and a good explanation, now return over and over (and over and over), the truth has become more slippery than a greased eel around here, and if I have to yell at her to wipe, flush and wash her hands after using the bathroom one more time, I'm going to just record it and play it on a loop in the house during all waking hours. Sure, ages There and Four weren't picnics, but the things that we were trying to teach her back then seemed less important. If we screwed up teaching her how to put her pants on properly, for example, she'd probably figure it out eventually. The things that we're trying to teach her now on the other hand, are things that seem more consequential if we get it wrong... sticking to a task from beginning to end, telling the truth, not taking things that don't belong to her. As far as stress level and catastrophic mistakes one can make go, ages Three and Four were a heck of a lot easier than Five has been so far.

I thought it would be fun to ask The Dormouse the same questions I asked her last year and see what new funny things she'd say. The level of maturity to these answers this time floored me. I was hoping for some more gems like after you get married you paint the house and you should know someone for twenty years before getting married so you don't forget their name. What I got instead were the answers of a girl who is really starting to see the realities of the way relationships work and looking out for her own self interest... maybe too soon for my tastes. Growing up is a part of the deal. I know that. I just have to adjust to the differences in her answers to these questions only one short year later. It just seems like it's all happening too fast.

What is Valentines' Day? It's a day that you give things like make valentines and give valentines

Why? Because if you want someone to give you something, you have to give them something first.
How do you know when you love someone? When you give them hugs and give them kisses.

What is love? Love is a kind of thing that... has plenty of things inside it. And if you love someone, it means you have to give them a gift. And they give you a gift.

What do people do on a date? They go some places like to the movies or go out for dinner or they go to a ball and dance or something.

What would you do on a first date that didn't turn out so well? I'd just run home.

Why do people get married? Because they love each other.

How old should you be when you get married? Eighteen and higher.

Where do you want to get married? In the temple.

How long should you know someone before you marry them? First you have to get someone that you want to marry. The next day after that you can marry them. Because the other day was the date.

How many people should come to your wedding? Twenty or thirty.

What song should they play at your wedding? Pomp and Circumstance.

What's a honeymoon? It's somewhere you go water skiing.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? I would like to go on my honeymoon to Hawaii (pronounced ha-why-a).

After the honeymoon, what do you do? Get married.

Didn't you get married before the honeymoon? Actually I'd go find a house.

Why do men give women flowers or chocolate? Because men love them.

The women or the chocolate? The women

What do you think about kissing? It kinda makes me cry.

Why? Because it's so sweet.

Is it better to be single or married? It's better to be married.

How do you decide whom to marry? You have to look for a boy who's really handsome.

When you get married will you have children? Yes.

How many kids will you have? I think I wanna have two.

What will you wear when you get married? A wedding dress.

What will your husband wear? Kind of a little church clothes and a tie and a black shirt over the white shirt.

How can you tell your parents love each other? By seeing them kissing and hugging... like you and Dad always do, Mom. *snickers*

What do you think your mom and dad have in common? They both like Diet Coke.

When is it okay to kiss someone? Only if you're married to them.

What do you want to get for Valentine's Day? Some bracelets and a necklace.

I'm starting to see that some day she will grow up and become her very own person and I won't have nearly the influence in her life I've enjoyed up until now. The control freak in me really hates that. Also that I need to go pick up some jewelry for Valentines' Day tomorrow because it doesn't look like the candy hearts I was planning on are going to cut it.