Perhaps it was the fact that she was an all black cat. Perhaps it was because I named her for the infamous parricide that Lizzy Borden allegedly committed. I expected her to be the sweet version of a kitten who curled up on my lap, slept on my feet at night and played adorably with string when I dangled it in front of her face. Whatever the reason, she just wasn't cuddly and cute like other cats.
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But soon she developed the personality I'd come to know and despise. The one who'd sidle up to me, purring, and put her head under my hand to be scratched. Then just when I let my guard down and thought all was calm and bright and we were having a moment, she'd randomly attack my hand and bite a hole through my fingernail.
The Dormouse came to fear and respect her, giving her a wide berth whenever possible. If she walked through a room and Lizzy was lying in the middle of it, she'd back up against the wall and inch along it, just so there was no chance that the cat could attack her ankles on the way through. Eventually the cat learned she could just hiss at her and elicit a crying jag that began with, "Lizzy hurt my feelings!" and signaled the world's end. The Caterpillar was on her way to fearing and respecting Lizzy in the same fashion.
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I feel badly that the blood clot that was finally her undoing happened while we were out of town last week. We got back late Sunday night and when I didn't see her upstairs I simply assumed that she was just angry about having been left alone. In recent years, there'd always been the second cat to keep her company and in the two years since we'd lost him, she'd dealt with being left when we went out of town more and more poorly. The next morning she was listless and unlike her but I waited, foolishly thinking that she just needed to eat something and would perk up. She must have been cold and scared and when I brought her to the vet last night she seemed almost relieved. I didn't want her to be in pain any more and I know I made the right decision for her. There was no treatment. But I'm sorry I wasn't there for her when she'd been there for me on so many occasions. She was a member of my family and she deserved at least that much. I hope she can forgive me for that.
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November 26, 2008 at 6:59 AM
Ohhhhh....I'm so sorry. I know how it hurts. I still feel so bad about Sissy and it pains me even now that I was indirectly responsible for her death not knowing that she had lost all of her teeth through age. She couldn't eat anymore. I just knew she wasn't eating right and losing weight. You said once that you understood Lizzie. I know that understanding of a cat. It becomes a very special connection.
November 26, 2008 at 8:01 AM
Sorry to hear she's gone. Seems like it was her time to go, though... she was about 14-ish, right?
I have that same connection to Jet, so I hate to think what it'll be like when he's gone. But he's 6 now, so I guess I have some time before that happens.
November 26, 2008 at 10:32 AM
Thats so sad, and I'm so sorry. It is really hard to lose pets, they become so much a part of the family. I'm really sorry.
November 26, 2008 at 3:44 PM
Aw sweetie... so sad to hear about your loss. Sending you love.
November 26, 2008 at 4:17 PM
Aw :( I'm sorry your kitty died. I'm sure she's playing with my bunny up in heaven waiting for us. :)
November 27, 2008 at 10:57 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about Lizzy. I can actually remember a time or two when she let me pet her (few and far between, but they happened). We've been noticing Cassi beginning to slow down too, and I'm dreading that day with her. No matter how it happens, it's never easy.
November 28, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Bee and I are both sorry to hear about Lizzie. We can relate only too well. The DBC and I finally achieved a level of rapprochement that allowed both of us to grudgingly admit we liked the other. Despite my protestations to the contrary, I bawled when we had to put him to sleep a few week's ago. And yet, as our vet so kindly wrote to us, our pets give us their love and, as our sadness subsides, that is what we will remember.