I am constantly amazed at the need for strangers to know if my child is a boy or a girl. And how often they get it wrong. Not that I care, mind you. Personally, I think all babies until the age of two pretty much look like grumpy old men with bad comb overs. But there are subtle, social cues that most people pick up on... like hair bands, or this.
I'm not much on pink. So I get it when I have my kid dressed in a denim overalls and people in the elevator say "Oh what a cute little boy." Most times I just say thanks and let it go altogether, because if my only interaction with you is going to consist solely of stilted small talk between floors six and thirteen, then it doesn't really matter if I don't set you straight on the gender of my spawn. But occasionally, the conversation progresses and it usually goes something like this:
Stranger in Elevator: "What a cute baby."
Me: "Thanks."
SIE: "And what a big smile."
M: "Yeah."
SIE: "How old is he?"
M: "Oh... she's one year."
SIE: "Oh! I'm so sorry!!" *awkward silence*
M: "That's okay, they all look pretty gender neutral at this age."
SIE: "But you have her in a blue jumpsuit."
M: "I dislike pink."
*more awkward silence*
M: "I CAN DRESS MY KID IN WHATEVER I WANT! STOP JUDGING ME!!"
OK, maybe I only think that last part.
When people get my child's gender wrong it does not offend me in the least. But it does perplex me when they miss those subtle cues that to me seem so easy to notice. For example, when I was walking through the hall in my office building the other day with The Caterpillar toddling at my side dressed in exactly the outfit below, a middle-aged, lawyer-type gentleman stopped me to say, "Oh, what a cute little boy."
And I get it... at first glance, maybe my kid does look like a boy. The chubby cheeks, the toothless grin... but please, do you really think I'm the kind of person who would dress my boy in a pink skirt? So doesn't that say more what you think about me than what you think about my kid?
Maybe, I'm just more practiced than most, but this looks like a girl to me.
I'm not much on pink. So I get it when I have my kid dressed in a denim overalls and people in the elevator say "Oh what a cute little boy." Most times I just say thanks and let it go altogether, because if my only interaction with you is going to consist solely of stilted small talk between floors six and thirteen, then it doesn't really matter if I don't set you straight on the gender of my spawn. But occasionally, the conversation progresses and it usually goes something like this:
Stranger in Elevator: "What a cute baby."
Me: "Thanks."
SIE: "And what a big smile."
M: "Yeah."
SIE: "How old is he?"
M: "Oh... she's one year."
SIE: "Oh! I'm so sorry!!" *awkward silence*
M: "That's okay, they all look pretty gender neutral at this age."
SIE: "But you have her in a blue jumpsuit."
M: "I dislike pink."
*more awkward silence*
M: "I CAN DRESS MY KID IN WHATEVER I WANT! STOP JUDGING ME!!"
OK, maybe I only think that last part.
When people get my child's gender wrong it does not offend me in the least. But it does perplex me when they miss those subtle cues that to me seem so easy to notice. For example, when I was walking through the hall in my office building the other day with The Caterpillar toddling at my side dressed in exactly the outfit below, a middle-aged, lawyer-type gentleman stopped me to say, "Oh, what a cute little boy."
And I get it... at first glance, maybe my kid does look like a boy. The chubby cheeks, the toothless grin... but please, do you really think I'm the kind of person who would dress my boy in a pink skirt? So doesn't that say more what you think about me than what you think about my kid?
Maybe, I'm just more practiced than most, but this looks like a girl to me.Share:
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September 30, 2008 at 10:17 AM
WHERE IS IT WRITTEN THAT BABY GIRLS CANNOT WEAR BLUE?? It's a color for crying out loud.
September 30, 2008 at 10:20 AM
Oh...and a dammm cute little girl, too.
September 30, 2008 at 10:53 AM
An old man approached us at Olive Garden a few weeks ago to talk to our little girl and tell us how cute she is. I told him THREE times that he's a boy but he was old and couldn't hear me. Finally, his companion told him he was a boy and he was so apologetic. I didn't really care, but I found it strange that my little boy in blue and green stripes was mistaken for a girl. To me, Carter looks like a boy.
I loooove that outfit, btw. She's so cute!
September 30, 2008 at 11:16 AM
We were registering at Babies 'R Us the other day and I was annoyed by the lack of creativity/imagination involved in paraphernalia for girls. I don't dislike pink per se, but enough already!
September 30, 2008 at 11:32 AM
@amy: I cannot imagine anyone mistaking your son for a girl. He looks all boy to me.
@paws: Do yourself a favor and don't register for or buy anything pink -- and it has nothing to do with liking the color or not. If you have a baby shower, you will get more pink stuff than you ever knew existed (despite what's on your registry) and will be happy to have something to balance out the spectrum here and there.
September 30, 2008 at 11:33 AM
@lucy: Oh it written in the baby handbook. Didn't you get one of those??? THAT could explain a few things. ;)
September 30, 2008 at 1:02 PM
Done, although I did make knit her the pink layette.
September 30, 2008 at 1:04 PM
Not only does she look like a girl in her pirate outfit, but a very cute little girl. I'll bet people are more worried about getting it wrong and being embarrassed about that than whether you choose to dress her in blue. Maybe your response when people call her a boy should include a comment that makes them feel OK about getting it wrong. (Like "I just like to disguise her as a boy.")
September 30, 2008 at 2:28 PM
@Debra: Where's the fun in that???
(Actually, I do more often than not. It doesn't preclude the awkward silence any though.)
September 30, 2008 at 5:32 PM
I used to lie to people just to see if they would treat her differently. Answer: YES. EVERY TIME.
September 30, 2008 at 5:33 PM
Oh, and somehow people think it's more insulting to call a boy a girl, so if they are unsure, they will pick boy everytime. GRR!
October 1, 2008 at 3:13 AM
I think SHE is adorable and looks totally girl to me, even in the previous post with green gunk all down her front.
I used to get oh "oh what a cute boy" all the time becasue I happend to choose a blue stroller! Never mind that she might be wearing all pink etc, but becasue I chose to have a stroler in my favorite colour, everyone else got confused apparently.
I'm neither a lover or a hater of pink, but I think that little outfit is to die for cute.
October 1, 2008 at 11:39 AM
Oh all strangers think Davis is girl. Probably because I refuse to cut his hair . . . When one woman found out he was a boy she told me I needed to cut his hair before "he started to get any ideas." Heaven forbid my 14th month old get IDEAS!
October 1, 2008 at 4:09 PM
We always told everyone that we didn't feel the need to color code our children to remember what gender they are.
October 3, 2008 at 6:56 AM
@dianne: We have a red and black carseat and get the same comments about her being a boy because of the carseat colors. Really?? Even the car seat must be pink?
@beth: "IDEAS"??? What kind of "ideas"? Like, he might move to Jerusalem, start a ministry and walk all over the country preaching peace? Honestly, people perplex me.
@Scott: That is by far the best response I've ever heard. Why didn't you give me that pointer years ago?
October 5, 2008 at 4:56 PM
My husband likes to dress our Ava in pink (head to toe) and I prefer purple, so it's always perplexing to me why people call her a boy. Maybe it's because I like flower/small prints on white instead of solid colors? But she looks like a girl, right?
October 6, 2008 at 6:38 AM
@Sarah: I've had three baby girls and as a result, probably lean toward the double x guess on all babies. But wow... that picture looks all girl to me.