Colleague: "Hey, I have some news."

All: 'What is it?"

Colleague: "Jane Doe Pain in the Neck is moving out of the area and she'll no longer be in our region."

Me: "Well, I can't say as I'm sorry to hear that."

Colleague: "And..." *pauses for dramatic effect* "her husband is staying here."

Me: "OK well I am sorry to hear that... I'm not that much of a bitch."

All: *looking at me blinking*

Me: "OK maybe I am, but I'm just sayin'."