I think it might be about time for me to admit that I'm not good at Christmas.  I'd like to think otherwise, and I try, for The Shortlings' sake, I really do, but I'm just not feelin' it this year.  So then I was thinking back to last year when I just wasn't feelin' it then, either.  Last year, I blamed it on my extremely crappy year and the crappy year before that, but 2012 hasn't been entirely unkind to me.  I'm not sure I can get away with that excuse anymore.  So, instead, I go through the motions and try very hard to feel something, or at least pretend that I do. 

There's got to be another way.

A few days ago a box arrived for me in the mail. 

I opened it up and this was inside:

Actually not just this, there was also a book about Festivus and a stack of postcards that say, "A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund."  You might say it was a veritable Festivus In A Box kit... actually you should say that because that's what it was.

 I didn't see a note or a name I recognized anywhere on the package so I naturally assumed Monica (almost always the sender of unmarked things I receive in the mail) had sent it to me and I proudly displayed my pole on my computer desk without another thought.  It wasn't until a few days later when I mentioned something to her about it and she was all, "Wait. What? I didn't send you a Festivus pole.  Though if I'd thought of it, I would have."

Thus began the Festivus Mystery of 2012.

I started hinting around to people I thought might be likely, but no one fessed up.  

I posted a picture on the FacePlace and no one claimed responsibility.

I asked a my husband whom he thought had sent it and he had helpful, yet equally ridiculous suggestions:

"That person? Ha ha, that's funny.  He doesn't talk to me."

"Her?  I'm not even sure she's ever seen an episode of Seinfeld."

Finally, I just resigned myself to the fact that it was Another Festivus Miracle and I wasn't ever gonna know.  Then I would go around the world and my life thinking any one person I met could be THE person and I would have to treat them all differently, perhaps being... gasp... nice... to everyone. 

 Fortunately, the next day I was delivered from my cruciation by a facebook message that came out of the blue from a cousin who lives two thousand miles away, whom I rarely see:
I was debating between sending you a leg lamp or a Festivus pole instead of a card this year, and the Festivus In A Box won out. I hope you're displaying it proudly. 

So thanks for the distraction, cuz.  You're one person I don't have a problem with this year.  If you were here, I'd allow you to perform the feats of strength.