Random collection of events and thoughts during what's now known as "My Halloween Birthday":
  1. Oh crap... people. People coming. Coming to my house. I hate people. Hate people in my house even more. Why on earth did I ever think this was a good idea?
  2. Awesome... the first day it's rained in weeks, we've planned an outdoor barbecue.
  3. How are 15 adults and 12 kids - all in costume - going to fit into my 18' x 14' living room? Ack!
  4. Must. Clean. House. Now.
  5. Stupid people. Stupid birthday. Stupid needing to have a party. Motherhood sucks.
  6. Run roomba, carpet now clean, KingofHearts immediately tracks mud through the house.
  7. Great. On one day I really need to leave work early, boss is concerned about whether new brochure has blue dots or purple dots next to picture on second page. Needs to see copy A with blue dots, copy B with purple dots, copy C with slightly lighter purple dots.
  8. WHO CARES ABOUT THE DAMN DOTS?!?
  9. Leave work late, don't have time to decorate house and pick up the Dormouse from class. Consider leaving Dormouse at school and telling guests we sold her to pay for party.
  10. Cake! How is it possible that I forget cake? It's a birthday party for Pete's sake!
  11. Store I pick to purchase cake from is one grocery store in entire metro area that does not have a bakery. Must purchase icing kit to write name on pre-made cake myself.
  12. Oh crap... a dozen kids will be in my living room with nothing to do. Alternative measures: put on a Disney video and watch them all go comatose or get some crafty thing for them to do. Stupidly, I chose crafty thing.
  13. Get home, husband has already decorated house with every Halloween decoration we own.
  14. Consider locking door and jumping husband, but then remember #6 and thank him profusely instead.
  15. Dormouse sees decorations; goes nuts. "It's my Halloween Birthday! My Halloween Birthday! Woo hoo!" Gives thumbs-up sign to cat. Cat seems unimpressed.
  16. Write "Happy B-Day" on cake with icing kit (no room to spell it out)... husband stares at it and says, "Why does it say 'Happy 8-Day'?" rescind profuse thank-you given in #14.
  17. Decide that since we've asked people not to bring gifts, we will put gifts from those who do aside and open them later so those who did not bring them as instructed will not feel badly.
  18. Realize at once that keeping an excited three year old from a gift is like trying to hold back Teton Dam after it breaks.
  19. Break down and allow opening of gifts, but request that excited three year old wait until people actually cross threshold before doing so. Limited success.
  20. Realize glitter glue, one inch pipe cleaner pieces, and small cuttings of crepe paper do not a good group craft activity make.
  21. Vow when inviting guests to costume party in future, stress adult costumes are appreciated as well in order to help me not feel like an idiot in a cowboy hat with a toy gun around my waist.
  22. Thanks, grandma, for the giant envelope full of confetti.
  23. Did I mention thanks?
  24. Really.... THANKS
  25. Why did I even bother to clean house? There are so many people in my living room, cannot see floor.
  26. Rule 3864 re: birthday parties. Super-excited girls who do not go to bed until after 9:00 throw fits.
  27. And they do not take a nap the next day either.
  28. Or the next day.
  29. After cleaning grease off stove, ceiling, counter top, door and needing to go to store twice for drain-o to unclog clogged dishwasher, vow never again to make burgers and hot dogs for 30 people.
  30. Next year, I'll just pay $150 for the moon bounce and be done with it.


And a wild time was had by all.