Alice's Adventures Underground

Pardon me while I geek out over Chicago buildings.  I've had a love affair with Chicago since I was a teenager and lo, these many years later, I can still say that Chicago is one of my favorite places in the world.  But the truth is there aren't a whole lot of things about Chicago that I can even name as reasons why I like the town so much.  Other than movie locations, the Cubs and the Black White Sox, I don't really know that much about about what the city is like.  I'd try and learn a little more about the Windy City (perhaps even why it's really called the Windy City), but every time I go there, all the great things to do get overshadowed in my mind by the architecture.

Actual conversation I had with a friend this week:

"Where did you go on vacation last week?"

"Chicago."

"Fun!  Did you like it?"

"Absolutely. It's my favorite city."

"Did you see the Art Institute?"

"No."

"Did you go to Millennium Park?"

"No."

"Did you go to a ballgame at Wrigley Field?"

"No."

"Well, what did you do?"

"I found buildings I liked and rode the elevator to the top, then back down again."

"That's it?"

"Then I took pictures of the buildings."

Just another reason why most people just don't get me. Seriously, it's the best vacation I can think of.

The Allerton Hotel still looks pretty majestic, despite the fact that it's been dwarfed by all the skyscrapers surrounding it.  What do you expect from a building that's stood since 1923?

You've met Elmo on this blog before. Elmo has come to be a rather permanent fixture in our home and has traveled with us to many places.  He is still a favorite of The Caterpillar's, two and a half years later.  Most toys disappear and are forgotten within a few weeks.  But Elmo?  Elmo has become a part of the family.  

Which is probably why I was so disappointed when I found Elmo in this getup. 

I do not know, nor do I care to know, why Elmo is dressed up like The Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

But I am a little confused as to why he is so friendly.

By now, everyone is aware that the Curiosity landed on Mars and that Mohawk Guy was pretty happy about it all. What you might not know is that the Sample Analysis at Mars unit (SAM for short) which is on the Mars rover was developed at the NASA Goddard Site, just outside of Washington, D.C.  They had a big pre-landing open house event at the Goddard Visitors Center and I took the Shortlings to it a few weeks back.  The Dormouse really wanted to attend the Watch The Landing Event there as well, but you had to register for a space and by the time I logged into the website it was fuller than full.  And also, it was scheduled for 3 am, so just between you and me, I was kinda happy it was full when I tried to register.  Shh.

The girls got to sit inside a full size mock-up of the Gemini Command Module.  They thought that was pretty cool.  As did I.

My favorite story about this day has to be when I walked up to a volunteer sitting at the "Goldilocks Planets" table and pushed the girls forward so the volunteer could talk to them about planets that are not too hot and not too cold.  She took a look at the girls, picked up her notes, turned the papers over a few times in her hands, then looked up at me and said, "Do you understand any of this stuff?"

Perhaps a small bit of training for your event volunteers is in order, NASA.

There was also an hilarious question and answer period with the scientists and engineers who developed the SAM.  Some of the questions included:

The most amazing thing about the question and answer period is the patience with which those scientists answered all the questions.

But they did have a lot for the kids to do and we eventually met some pretty awesome people. Like this guy, who froze a bunch of stuff in liquid nitrogen for my kids because they missed the actual demonstration he and his colleagues had presented and they were disappointed.  So he pulled out all the stuff he'd just put away and did as much of the demonstration as he could reproduce for them again while his colleagues packed up and left.  Then he patiently obliged when The Dormouse continually asked what would happen to various items in liquid nitrogen, by saying, "Well, let's test it out.  That's what science is all about, afterall." And then he actually stuck those various items in the liquid nitrogen to show them what would happen.

I love this guy.

Also, I love his shirt.

There were some other fun activities for kids, like making Mars cookies,

learning how the Mars rover will pick up core samples, by drilling through various candy bars with straws,

and dropping ping pong balls and tennis balls into hot chocolate mix and flour to figure out how the craters on Mars were made.

That guy's shoes were a mess by the end of the day.

Clearly, though, my favorite thing about the Goddard center is it's Rocket Garden.  Because who doesn't want a Rocket Garden in their backyard? No one, that's who!

My road trip last week involved a couple of conferences, fake work, a much-needed vacation, visiting family, one or two "appointments," and a snaking line across the upper Midwest with diversions whenever possible.  We managed to drive through eight of our fine United States in the process.  I took one hundred and fifty-seven photos on my camera and now cannot get my card reader to recognize my SD card so I can get even a single one of those off and into some sort of viewable format.  I'm being held hostage by a one-inch square piece of plastic.  

First world problem. 

Since I cannot show you the one hundred and fifty-four photos I took of buildings and three pictures I took of my foot by mistake (and since you'll probably be bored with that when I do), I will share with you some of the road trip discussion wherein we decided to rewrite all the mottoes of states and cities we visited based on our experience there. 

Clearly, we have stimulating, intellectual conversations while driving and a mind, stretched by a new idea, can never return to its original dimensions.

I've been away for a week.  Am trying to get my head wrapped around the idea of going to work and caring for children each day.  Did you know they want to be fed THREE times a day and about half the time you have to help them wipe their butts?!?  I was as shocked as you are.  This parenting stuff is HARD, ya'll.  The children are a bit of a hassle too.

*rimshot*

The KingofHearts and I are not good at using the phone when one of us is out of town but for different reasons.  I... have a long-storied hatred of The Phone.  He... is just forgetful.  We usually don't call to say we arrived at our location safely.  Or when we'll be home exactly.  Or how the kids are doing in our absence.  We both tend to figure if something goes horribly wrong, one of us will get a call eventually.  Otherwise, no news is good news.  It may not be healthy, but it has worked for us as long as we never have to maintain a long distance relationship for more than a week. 

Unlimited text messaging phone plans have changed all that, though.  While I was gone, Monica called her family almost every night.  I kept in touch with The KoH via text message.  Here is a sample of some of the very important communications that were exchanged via SMS service while I was gone.

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At the Sheepskin Country Store.  Want me to pick anything up for you.  Perhaps a diploma? Or condoms?

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Can you call the school and get them to confirm that The Caterpillar is really registered? Also, Boooobeeez.

Give my wife back her phone.  We're supposed to get a packet by the end of the week with her information.

( . ) ( . )  

  ___

  \     /

   \ _/

  

Formatting screwed up.  Now you get a nakid lady who's been in a terrible accident.

You're out of control.

  (o) (o)

Is that supposed to be you or my wife?

Lemme check and get back to you.

*Monica may or may not have been typing for me while I was driving for this exchange.

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Banjo.

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Apparently, we are on the list to clean the church Saturday if you care about such things.

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Ojnab.

Is that stealth banjo?

That's right, baby.

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I am eating a burger with peanut butter on it.  You're jealous aren't you?

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In one of the testimonies in church today, someone referenced their Ocean of Love.

I've got an Ocean of Love for you, baby.

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What did The Caterpillar learn in church today?  "God told his recycle to put his candle under a bush."

Sounds dangerous.  Maybe we need a new church.  How about one in West Virginia?  They have Jesus Fest here.

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I wasn't kidding about that last thing.

In general, I hate casinos.  No matter where it is or how long it's been since I was in one, the moment I walk through the door, they all smell the same: a mixture of cigarettes, cooking grease, body odor and desperation.  The Montego Bay has that exact same smell...

but also some cool decorations in the restaurant.

Ever since I was little, I've been fascinated by those in-between places in the world like Four Corners or the Haskell Free Library.  In Celtic mythology, transition places - shorelines, doorways, dusk and dawn - are supposed to be places or times of power and magic and for whatever reason, I've always been fascinated by that idea.

My cousins and I used to go to visit our grandparents who lived near the Idaho state line and we loved walking across town and over the bridge that spanned the river border between the states.  We'd casually say to each other, "Hey let's walk to Washington today," and feel very grown up about our pre-teen selves because we could control enough about our existence that we could literally be in another state without relying on adults to do so.  It was less than a mile's walk, if I remember correctly, but still, ANOTHER STATE YA'LL.  And we didn't even tell our parents!  Then we'd spend an hour slowly walking across the bridge and trying to determine the exact place in the middle when we would be standing in both states. 

Whenever we were driving and crossed a state line, I was the kid who wanted to stop the car at the Welcome to [insert state name here] sign so I could say I stood in two states at once.  Needless to say, that was probably tiresome for whomever was driving the car and we seldom stopped.

I still love those places for some reason and if you're like me, Wendover fits the bill.  There is a large hotel/casino that straddles the border and since gambling is legal in Nevada, but not in Utah, the parking lot is on the Utah side, while the casino is in Nevada.

I encouraged the girls to try and stand in both places at once while I took a photo.  They obliged, but missed the mark just a little. 

Shh, don't tell them.

It's summer.  (Newsflash, huh?)  For a variety of reasons, I am having a hard time committing to anything at this point... at least anything more complicated than sitting on the couch in my underwear watching TV.  And even then sometimes I forget I'm doing that and leave the room, only to come back later and realize that the movie I paused twenty minutes ago - while I went to the bathroom, and then started to clean the bathroom and then started to put away the dishes in the dishwasher and then got out the iron and then brought the ironing board back into the living room - has now timed out and I have to speed forward from the beginning to find my place again.  Only I can't, because I can't remember what happened the twenty minutes before that while I was still watching. So then I start the movie from the beginning again only I remember seeing this part, but Oh look! A bird!

What follows is the beginnings of several blog posts I started to write and then forget either what I was doing, or what had happened once I started writing.

Now, off to order some Ginkgo Biloba on the internet.  This won't end badly, I'm sure.


The KingofHearts and I have been married fifteen years.  Some say that as couples remain married, they grow to love one another more each day, some say they grow to put up with each other, some say that they grow to look like each other.

The number of times in the past month one of The Children has said something or other and both The KoH and I have responded with the exact same words at the exact same time, in the exact same sarcastic inflection, reminds me that in our case, we just have grown the same brain.

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The Caterpillar is preparing to go to Big Girl School soon and in preparation she suckered convinced The KoH into buying her a new backpack.  This morning when I was getting ready to take them to summer camp, she came out of her room with her backpack on and started to walk out the door.  I stopped and said, "What's in that backpack?"

Wordlessly, she turned around, walked back into her room and proceeded to pull pretty much everything that was ever brought into her room out of her backpack and pile it on the floor.  Then she put the empty backpack on her back and walked out to the car.  Not sure how helpful school will be for her in finding a future career, but if it isn't, she can always become a British Nanny.

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We watched some friends' dog over the weekend and the cats were sooo disappointed with us in that decision.  They pretty much spent the entire weekend in the basement, except for one time when the dog was lying on the floor sleeping and I happened to look up from my computer in time to see one of the cats caaaaarrrrefully sneak out from the basement and behind the dog into the kitchen, where she grabbed a piece of food out of the dog's dish and ranlikehell back downstairs with it.  

Even after the dog went home, the felines were still not quite sure about our respect of their mastery over their domain and spent the next two days just making sure the dog was really for realz gone.

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We went out to a local fast food restaurant the other night and it happened to be kids' night.  There was a free face painter there.  I'm used to just a heart painted on the cheeks at events like these, but this guy stepped up the game and has created an unreasonable expectation for every other face painter person out there.

The KingofHearts is experimenting with hair lately.  I'm thinking he either needs to invest in a good rubber band, or stay out of the wind.

The Salt Lake City Temple has been photographed so much, it's not even worth it to try and take a picture that hasn't been done and done a hundred times before. Still, one must try, mustn't one? 

The LDS Conference Center has replaced the Tabernacle as the building where the Mormon Church holds most of it's major meetings now and we took a quick tour in Salt Lake.

Loved this glass piece.  I could have crawled up inside it, had they let me... and if I had the ability to defy gravity. It's in the ceiling.

We basically had our own personal tour guide, which you might think was pretty cool.  I did too, until I learned that the people right in front of us got to go up and sit in the choir seats up by that amazing organ.  Then I was kind of irked I didn't know the choir director too.

More desert flowers. It was crazy how much stuff was blooming when we were on this hike.  If you think I've posted a lot of desert flower pictures this month, just consider how many I threw away.  I promise, I'm almost through the entire set.

While we were here, gazing upon the face of Christ, the girls spied a bird that had somehow gotten into the building and began chasing him around the room. Pretty sure the bird almost had a heart attack, as did I when The Caterpillar climbed up on the furniture and tried to reach out over the balcony for him.  I wanted to stick around to see what happened when that bird perched himself on Christ's head, both to figure out who got the job of cleaning it off and so I could lead everyone in a rousing rendition of We Like to Perch on Scorsese's Head, but we didn't have that kind of time.

I keep trying to throw this photo out because it's not particularly interesting or well-shot, but every time I move it towards the recycling bin on my desktop, something stays my hand.  I love it and just can't part with it.  I guess some people also have pets like that... or husbands.    

The KingofHearts tried to order lots of salads while we were traveling, you know... because he wanted to be healthy. Good thing, too, because I'd hate to see the non-healthy option on the menu.

Yes, yes, I'm fully aware that these are not pines. But when I caught this view from the car window, I couldn't help but think that this would have made an excellent place for Marty McFly to hide his DeLorean.

This is as close to I ever got to understanding that Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree song when I was growing up.

More desert vegetation. I love how the bark on sagebrush eventually collapses under it's own weight and dryness and then it splits and twists like some sort of fractal image.  If you've never hung out in the desert after a rain or in the early morning and smelled the sagebrush, you have missed out, indeed.

When people at work asked me where we were headed in Nevada I'd say, "Well, you know where Las Vegas is right?"

"Yeah."

"OK good. Well, it's nowhere near there.  What you want to do is find the only two places in the northern part of the state with any people in them, then go as far away from those two places as you can possibly get.  That's where we're going."

This is the major landmark in the area and when I giggle like a fourteen year old boy everytime I pass by it, everyone looks as me strangely and says, "I don't understand. Why is that funny?"

No reason, I guess.

Believe it or not, this is pretty darn green for high desert.  There's something stark and wonderful about desert vegetation and it might be hard to learn to appreciate it, but once it does become a part of you, it never quite leaves you.  I don't miss the nine months of summer, I don't miss the waking up at 2:00 am and seeing the thermometer is still showing 103 degrees, but I do miss the beauty of the desert.  

Once, when I was in middle school biology class, the teacher introduced the concept of a symbiotic relationship and gave us the example of a lichen to demonstrate.  

"A lichen," she opined, "is usually a fungus and a photosynthetic partner that depend on each other for survival.  So it's basically a fungus and an algae that are cohabitating."

That's when some kid in the back of the classroom piped up with, "Oooooo! LIVING IN SIN BABY!"

There has not been one time in the rest of my life on this earth since then when I've encountered a lichen and NOT thought about that moment.

Back to Salt Lake today, and I know this blog has been treading dangerously close to that line of come over to my house and look at these slides of photos from my vacation as of late. (Treading, who am I kidding? This blog has stomped all over that line.)  I hate it as much as you do.  But truth be told, I have pretty much only one friend and she doesn't want to see them either.  So, here you go.

We had brunch at the Lion House in Salt Lake the last day we were there because the KingofHearts had never had one of their famous rolls and I figured there are just some experiences in life one shouldn't miss.  And now, after our eating there once, he's had that experience several times.  Toldya they were good.  The Shortlings enjoyed the spread and the incredibly nice employees there and they insisted I photograph it.  It may not be a, splendid presentation, but yummy, nonetheless.

The Lion House and the The Beehive House are two of the first residences in Salt Lake City and where Brigham Young (who founded the city) lived from 1855 to 1877.  Now, most of it is a museum, and the lower floor is a cafeteria that specializes in recipes that would have been similar to what was actually served when the Youngs lived there. (Or at least similar-ish.)  I'd taken the tour through the houses several times, but the rest of the family hadn't, so we took a look around.  These aren't great photos, taken on my phone, but here are a couple of details from the house The Shortlings enjoyed.