I've been away for a week.  Am trying to get my head wrapped around the idea of going to work and caring for children each day.  Did you know they want to be fed THREE times a day and about half the time you have to help them wipe their butts?!?  I was as shocked as you are.  This parenting stuff is HARD, ya'll.  The children are a bit of a hassle too.

*rimshot*

The KingofHearts and I are not good at using the phone when one of us is out of town but for different reasons.  I... have a long-storied hatred of The Phone.  He... is just forgetful.  We usually don't call to say we arrived at our location safely.  Or when we'll be home exactly.  Or how the kids are doing in our absence.  We both tend to figure if something goes horribly wrong, one of us will get a call eventually.  Otherwise, no news is good news.  It may not be healthy, but it has worked for us as long as we never have to maintain a long distance relationship for more than a week. 

Unlimited text messaging phone plans have changed all that, though.  While I was gone, Monica called her family almost every night.  I kept in touch with The KoH via text message.  Here is a sample of some of the very important communications that were exchanged via SMS service while I was gone.


At the Sheepskin Country Store.  Want me to pick anything up for you.  Perhaps a diploma? Or condoms?


Can you call the school and get them to confirm that The Caterpillar is really registered? Also, Boooobeeez.

Give my wife back her phone.  We're supposed to get a packet by the end of the week with her information.

( . ) ( . )  
  ___
  \     /
   \ _/
  
Formatting screwed up.  Now you get a nakid lady who's been in a terrible accident.

You're out of control.

  (o) (o)

Is that supposed to be you or my wife?

 Lemme check and get back to you.

*Monica may or may not have been typing for me while I was driving for this exchange.




Apparently, we are on the list to clean the church Saturday if you care about such things.


Ojnab.

Is that stealth banjo?

That's right, baby.


I am eating a burger with peanut butter on it.  You're jealous aren't you?


In one of the testimonies in church today, someone referenced their Ocean of Love.

I've got an Ocean of Love for you, baby.


What did The Caterpillar learn in church today?  "God told his recycle to put his candle under a bush."

Sounds dangerous.  Maybe we need a new church.  How about one in West Virginia?  They have Jesus Fest here.


I wasn't kidding about that last thing.