The ABC’s of Me:

A. Age: 45. And let me go so far as to not recommend it. It all goes to hell when you're 45.

B. Bed size: King. California King. Seriously treat yo'self to one o' these. This and separate bank accounts are the reason I've been married for over fifteen years.

C. Chore you dislike: This assumes there is a chore I like.

D. Dogs: Yes, love 'em. I just don't own enough land to own one.

E. Essential start to your day: Diet Coke. I know, you're all gonna give me crap about that, but hey, it's not Bloody Marys and Cigars. There are much worse things I could be doing to my body.

F. Favorite colors: I always tell my kids my favorite color is black. Because they can't accept the answer that I just don't care or that I love all colors equally and don't feel comfortable choosing one.

G. Gold or silver: Silver. I do not have a similar dilemma choosing between gold and silver.

H. Height: 5’5’’ (though I will probably tell you I'm 5'4" because at one point in my life a long time ago, I was 5'4" and I just can't seem to break the habit)

I. Instruments you play(ed): I have played them all. I continue to play: the violin, the piano, guitar, and steel drums, whenever I can get my hands on a set.

J. Job title: Whatever You Don't Want To Do? That's What I'm Supposed To Be Doing

K. Kids: Two, or three, or four, depending on how you keep score.

L. Live: Yes, I am.

M. Mom’s name: She hates it. I think it's cool. We agree to disagree.

N. Nicknames: All my nicknames which don't involve the word bitch are just shortened versions of my name. It doesn't really seem like a nickname if someone started saying your actual name and they just dosed off in the middle, so I'm just gonna say I don't have any.

O. Overnight hospital stays: More than ten? Just under? Either way, that's too many for one person.

P. Pet peeves: "Don't you hate it when you take some....."
"Red Devil Turpentine?"
"Yeah, and pour it in the open wound?"
"I hate when that happens."


Q. Quote from a movie: "Head. Pants. Now!"

R. Righty or lefty: As my grandfather used to say: Southpaw.

S. Siblings: Yes. One.

T. Time you wake up: Zero dark thirty.

U. Underwear: Yes. I. Am. A. Lady! (I filled out this entire meme just so I could write this answer this question. You're welcome, Monica.)

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Anything from a can.

W. What makes you run late: My children.

X. X-rays you’ve had: All of them. See: answer to A

Y. Yummy food you make: Chipa Guazu, which my husband refers to as "Salt Corn Pie."

Z. Zoo animal you like: We like the petting zoo section of the National Zoo where you get to touch the cows and the sheep. Though it pains me that my children think of cows and sheep as "zoo animals."