I went outside this morning to dispose of a particularly toxic diaper of The Caterpillar's -- one that really belongs in a nuclear waste facility but since one is not near I instead released it into the ozone to do its damage outside the house.

Aside: When The Dormouse was a baby, I don't remember the diapers being that bad. I mean, it's not like she shat out roses or anything but until she started solid foods, they were manageable and not particularly stinky. I had very few of the "poop emergencies" that so many blogs seem to center around and I remember haughtily thinking, "What's the big deal? I don't get what everyone's complaining about."

That was before I met The Caterpillar, whose superpower is that she can turn mere breastmilk into a substance so vile that these guys have offered her a full time job. I can only fear and dread the day when she actually consumes more than just a couple of tablespoons of rice cereal or squash at a meal and is still in diapers. That is why, when I returned to the house and saw this scene I was filled with hope -- divine, awe-inspiring hope.

I had left The Caterpillar on the ground, sans diaper to let her bottom air out while I walked out to the trash. There was a diaper on the floor near her, but I hadn't put it on yet and The Dormouse was attempting to put it on her sister. Sensing a calamity to come, I started to stop her but The KingofHearts objected, "No, let her try." So I acquiesced. Instead I grabbed the camera and took the following hilarious five minutes of video. She had a miserable time of it because The Caterpillar is officially The Kickiest Baby Who Ever Lived, but she finally got it done. And there was much rejoicing.

You may look at it and think it's an awful long video of nothing, but this is my Universe and I am Emperor here. If you listen closely, you can hear sarcastic commentary from the Peanut Gallery in the background. If she doesn't have a thick skin by the time she's a teenager, it won't be for lack of trying.





Here's a closeup of the finished product.