I thought quite seriously about getting one of those half way disposable, above ground pools this summer.  But I hemmed and hawed because I heard pool-setting-up causes divorce if you're not careful and I wasn't looking to spend that kind of money.  Oh and also:  I'm lazy and it seems like a lotta work.

But then my kids whined and whined.  "When are we going to the pool?  I'm out of school, entertain meeee!  Or if you can't entertain me, at least let me interrupt what you're doing every five minutes.  Wah. Wah. Wah."  OK, maybe they didn't say exactly those words; it's just what I heard. 

So I just decided to send them outside and turn the hose on them

But even that got hard after awhile.  You have to, like, stand there and hold the hose, you know?  That's too much like work.  I needed something with a little less physical investment to keep my children busy.  Perhaps a microphone stand to attach the hose to, I theorized. 

Fortunately, The KingofHearts had some PVC pipe leftover from the last plumbing fix-it project he did and with a couple more pieces purchased from Mecca, I mean, the Big Box Home Improvement Store, along with a little bit of time on his hands, he came up with this brilliant contraption:


I know what you're thinking:  "Practice Cage for a Future in Go-Go Dancing.  At least they can help contribute to the monthly bills."  But you'd be wrong (although that does make me think creatively about ways to add to their college funds), because you missed this little attachment at the bottom:


Once that was set up, The KoH had to make but a few adustments.  That's a drill inside that plastic bag.  That plastic bag is necessary because once you drill the first hole:


This happens:


I suppose we could have turned off the water first, but at least this way, we know it works.

So does The Dormouse, but she had other ways of determining that fact:


Once you drill enough holes, you have something resembling a car wash:


But still, something was missing.  So I found an old shower curtain in the basement that we'd been hanging onto to use as a drop cloth for the next paint job.  And I started about the job of cutting it into strips.  I began trying to just eyeball straight lines on a non-patterned cloth but after cutting the first strip and spreading it out to admire my handiwork, I realized I'd cut a strip that started out five inches wide and ended up about an inch wide.  Basically, I'd just cut a very long triangle.  "If only I had a device with which to measure the width of something," I thought to myself.  But, since it was too late in the day to schedule a tattoo appointment and since I really didn't want to leave the comfort of my chair on the deck a second time to look for a ruler in the house (see what I mean about my being lazy?), I decided to just not worry about it.  Suddenly, I remembered that a few months back, I'd had The KoH build me a template for just such an eventuality.


It worked out nicely.

We tied the strips on for a more-car-wash, less-stripper-cage-like appearance: 


Then we turned on the hose and let The Shortlings spray water on themselves for a change:




Now, I'm gonna need to purchase a hammock.



*by the way, if you want to build one of these contraptions yourself, we got the idea from here.  There are instructions online and everything.  We did not, however, follow any of the instructions or even, you know, look at them.  I would imagine that their plans work a lot better than ours, so go there and print them out for your very own.  And then when our rickety old struture comes crashing down before yours, you can gloat.