Believe it or not, we actually did decorate a tree, though I'm partial to my solution instead. If only we could get those girls to stand still until the twenty-fifth.
Kitties seems to like it.
Kitties seems to like it.
Share:
Share:
We had a little too much fun with the Christmas lights last night. Who needs a tree when you have children in the house?
Share:
On Saturday last, we woke up to find the earliest snow we've had since we've lived here. And since the greater part of Washington only sees the tiniest bit of snow as a signal to run to the store and purchase vast amounts of bread, milk and toilet paper, then return home to shutter up the windows and to wait out the inclement weather for what could literally be hours before the roads are clear again, we decided to throw caution to the wind and go tree hunting. What better day to do it right? So we bundled up the girls in double coats, gloves, hats and their warmest clothing and set off to find a tree as The KingofHearts declared, "This is tree huntin' weather!" We then drove two hours in the storm out to our favorite tree farm for the quintessential experience of cutting down our own tree in the snow. How often do you get a chance like that?
It was beautiful, idyllic and no one could wait until we got there, least of all The Dormouse, who talked non-stop about picking out the tree and then building a snowman. Then once we arrived, the first thing we did was step out of the car and The Dormouse ran to experience the snowbound hill, running hell-bent for election through the snow. It was the perfect Norman Rockwell moment.
The only thing wrong with Norman Rockwell paintings is that they are but a moment of a larger moving picture and you never actually get to see the next frame in the scene. In this particular film, the next scene was the one where The Dormouse immediately got her feet completely wet in the very wet snow and then complained about being cold for the next thirty minutes... all the way up the hill to the trees, all the way through the trees, all the time we were searching for a tree. She complained so much, in fact, that we couldn't even get her to settle down to help choose a tree or clear our thoughts long enough to choose one ourselves. We tried telling her to cowboy up, to shake it off. We wrapped her in a blanket and told her it would be just a little bit and could she just hold on long enough to get up the hill, choose a tree and get back down then we'd get in the car and turn on the heater, but ultimately, it was all for naught. When she finally began crying icicle tears, we decided it was time to give up and bring her back to the car. We then purchased a pre-cut tree off the lot and left.
Not quite the Norman Rockwell Christmas experience we were looking for.
Share:
The Dormouse is just getting to where she understands humor well enough to make up a joke and have it be funny to others who get the nuances and subtleties of humor that appeals to adults. Hence, there have been few entries in the "Kid Jokes" section of this website recently. But I am pleased to announce that the era of kid jokes entries may be back.
Last night as we were driving in the car, The Dormouse told a knock knock joke that actually made us laugh and we praised her on her foray into the world of stand up comedy.
Like dominoes fall with each successive tumble, this of course made The KingofHearts tell the only knock knock joke he ever remembers and, not very coincidentally, the one I possibly find the least funny and most annoying.
Oh that's just the least of things I'm glad of.
Anyway, The Caterpillar decided she wanted to get in on the action and when his twenty-minute knock, knock joke was through, she decided to tell her own version:
Caterpillar: "Knock, knock."
Us: "Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
*pause* "Corn.... bye bye!"
It's at least as funny as the banana/orange joke.
Last night as we were driving in the car, The Dormouse told a knock knock joke that actually made us laugh and we praised her on her foray into the world of stand up comedy.
Like dominoes fall with each successive tumble, this of course made The KingofHearts tell the only knock knock joke he ever remembers and, not very coincidentally, the one I possibly find the least funny and most annoying.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
*heavy sigh* Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana' again?
Oh that's just the least of things I'm glad of.
Anyway, The Caterpillar decided she wanted to get in on the action and when his twenty-minute knock, knock joke was through, she decided to tell her own version:
Caterpillar: "Knock, knock."
Us: "Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
*pause* "Corn.... bye bye!"
It's at least as funny as the banana/orange joke.
Share:
Surprisingly, this one was much harder to compile than the first.
- people who are too busy talking on mobile phones to pay attention to the fact that they're driving
- the sound of squeaky Styrofoam
- the lottery
- clowns
- standing in the shower, waiting for the conditioner to work
- when the muscles in my eyelids twitch and it looks like I'm winking at people when really I'm just overstressed - what? that doesn't happen to you? KayforgetIsaidit.
- pretense
- people who drive down the road with their blinker on
- people who refuse to use their blinker
- constant noise
- Wal-Mart
- that itchy skin feeling you always get in the wintertime
- waiting for my computer to boot up
- shoes
- The Phone
- hidden agendas
- people who reply to my emails with only "thank you"
- putting away clothes (don't mind the washing so much, but hey, that's the easy part)
- when people promise something that they have no intention of following through on - why not just say no?
- Barney
- being late
- Facebook apps
- the fact that I have about ten reusable grocery bags in my car but I only remember them after I'm already in the checkout line and ready to pay
- watching t.v. with commercials
- people I don't know who call me "sweetie" or use other terms of endearment
- crocs
- packing
- when the shower curtain touches me
- people driving on my roads
- hypocrisy
- being out of milk
- groups of people who walk slow at the mall but gang up together so you can't get past them
- shows that end "to be continued"
- the news media
- SUVs (a real man knows a station wagon when he sees one)
- raisins
- lolCats
- my messy desk
- stop signs on every single intersection in my neighborhood
- U-turns
- the smell of tuna fish
- Christmas music/decorations before Thanksgiving
- Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh (they don't merit their own lines)
- logos and station identification in the bottom of the t.v. screen that get bigger and bigger each year
- NASCAR
- when I'm sitting in a chair and I lose something I was holding in my hand just a minute ago even though I haven't gotten up out of my chair
- TMZ
- people who get in between me and my kids in a crowd
- broken book bindings
- political campaign ads
- putting on makeup
- burnt toast
- how Elmo talks about himself in the third person
- the corner of the cedar chest that is always trying to remove my pinky toe
- grape flavored candy or drinks
- Anne Geddes photographs
- when people try to tickle me
- the word "moist"
- the smell of rotting mango
- singing the "Happy Birthday" song too slow
- headlights that don't turn off when you cut the ignition
- mondongo
- the fact that I still can't put any non-food items in my mouth without the gag reflex kicking in -- two years after The Caterpillar was born
- sitting on the toilet late at night, only to find out that the seat was up
- not being able to walk through a room without stepping on, over or tripping on some crap someone left on the floor
- when my clothes get all ball-y
- live in concert recordings
- spending all day cleaning the house and having my family wreck it five minutes after they come in the door
- inaccessible outlet sockets
- dealing with health insurance companies
- when the toilet gets clogged
- Survivor
- dictionaries that define a word using that same word in the definition
- crowds
- shaving my legs
- leeches
- fantasy fiction
- iceburg lettuce, "the polyester of greens"
- mispronouncing the word "nuclear"
- trying to get two little girls dressed and out the door in the morning
- sassy children
- when I get a thorn in the bottom of my foot
- that ASPCA commercial that makes my daughter cry every time it comes on t.v.
- Matthew McConaughey (who just barely beat out Woody Harrelson for this spot)
- movies where the leading man puts on a dress and plays multiple parts
- dogs that bark and wake up my two year old from her nap
- squeaky beds
- pop up ads even when I have the pop up ad blocker on
- gum that sticks to your teeth
- air quotes
- strangers who don't respect personal space
- anime
- paying $3 to get my $40 out of an ATM
- spam offering to enlarge my penis
- having to do something twice
- needing a password for every website I go to, but being given different parameters on each one so I can't use the same password
- tripping
- too crispy bacon
- when people say "flustrated"
- making lists of things I hate
Share:
"Momma, I learned a new song in music class today. Can I sing it for you?"
"Sure, go ahead."
" ♪ Jolly oats and nickle-es, lean your ear this way ♫.... why are you laughing, Momma?"
"Sure, go ahead."
" ♪ Jolly oats and nickle-es, lean your ear this way ♫.... why are you laughing, Momma?"
Share:
In no particular order:
- Humphrey Bogart
- Alfred Hitchcock movies
- The Dormouse
- The Caterpillar
- The KingofHearts
- cheese
- Frank Lloyd Wright's architecture and design
- old Alice in Wonderland book editions and movie versions
- wireless internet
- Leverage
- music - any kind
- digital video recorders and pausing live t.v.
- animals
- a cat that curls up on your lap to sleep
- cars that don't break down
- rock candy
- the Rocky Mountains
- Washington, D.C.
- fall leaves
- Igor Stravinsky
- that magical fifteen or twenty minutes at night where I'm holding The Caterpillar and singing her a song before bedtime and the house is dark and she's still and puts her head down on my shoulder and drifts off to sleep
- singing to the car stereo
- the Oregon coast
- anything Joss Whedon writes
- snow
- The Dormouse's enthusiasm for life
- graham crackers with cake icing spread on them
- driving
- going fifteen minutes one direction and being in the city; going fifteen minutes in the other and being in farmland
- kayaking
- dancing in the living room with my girls
- New York City
- Robert Fulgham books
- architecture
- road trips
- John Cusack movies from the 80s
- taking a really good photograph
- good conversation with friends
- old houses
- going out to eat somewhere I've never been before
- making things
- sunsets
- changing my own oil
- getting up before everyone else in the morning and feeling that ethereal few minutes when it feels like I'm the only one awake in the world
- pistachio nuts
- Tony Bennett
- Al Jolson
- talent of all kinds
- campfires
- inside jokes
- sushi
- adding a long string of financial records and having the amount come out right to the penny
- throwing away things I don't need
- reading a good book that changes my life
- pedicures
- finding the exact right gift for someone
- Jackie Chan movies
- over sized sweaters
- finishing my taxes in January
- street musicians/performers
- the smell of daphne flowers
- watching a thunderstorm from my front window
- weekend radio shows on NPR
- playing music in a group
- musicals
- museums
- a clean house
- getting mail
- homemade ice cream
- silence
- costumes
- homemade bread
- king sized water beds
- puzzles
- baby hugs
- traveling to places I've never been before
- when I know something about someone and they know I know it and my very presence in the room makes them uncomfortable
- daises
- well-written poetry or song lyrics
- laughter
- doing chores or mundane shopping trips but having a great time because The KoH is there to entertain me
- drinking hot chocolate on a cold, rainy day
- the Lethal Weapon movies
- Ayn Rand books
- the ease of email
- biographies
- buffalo wings
- a quick wit
- people who are creative
- when The Dormouse comes home from school excited because she passed a test
- being alone
- fixing things that are broken instead of throwing them out
- Diet Coke
- having the front door open and a breeze coming through the house
- Chicago
- the desert
- little girls in braids
- edamame
- talking walks in the neighborhood and looking into other people's windows
- the sound of leaves rustling in the breeze
Share:
Heard from the kitchen:
The Dormouse: "Do you want some juice?"
The Caterpillar: *whine, cry, moan*
DM: "Appreciate! Your! Juice! Or I'm not going to give you any."
She's gonna make a damn fine mother some day.
The Dormouse: "Do you want some juice?"
The Caterpillar: *whine, cry, moan*
DM: "Appreciate! Your! Juice! Or I'm not going to give you any."
She's gonna make a damn fine mother some day.
Share:
So, the big event that I alluded to yesterday was that we got tickets to Ice! at the National Harbor. How can I explain Ice! to those who haven't seen it? Ice sculptures on crack seems about the best description. You walk into this giant tent where they herd you into a line and hand out parkas. Then you walk into another section of tent where they've lowered the temperature to about nine degrees Fahrenheit.
Then you walk through this:
There are "ten different holiday scenes made from two million pounds of ice, including a life-sized Santa's Workshop, a penguin village... and even ice slides that stand more than two stories tall!"
We saw monuments:
Rode a life sized horse-drawn sleigh:
Got a sneak peak at the night before Christmas:
Then we headed up to the North Pole:
And hung out with the penguins in their igloo:
After which, we walked through an ice tunnel that reminded me of an old Six Million Dollar Man episode (ooo! finally found a picture):
Then we entered the room with the ice slides, which was a ball for all of us. Except, perhaps for The Caterpillar, who really wanted to go down the slide, so they put her down on her back where she moved six inches and then lay there like a slug.
So the Gaylord employee reached down, shoved her at the shoulder and pushed her down the slide about three feet... where she lay there like a slug.
In a perfect world, I suppose her mother could have gone up to get her, but she was busy laughing and taking pictures. (More fodder for that Mother of the Year award bio.)
So finally, the guy at the bottom went about half way up the slide, grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her down to the bottom. Where she lay there like a slug.
And then her mother wiped tiny-frozen-icicle-tears from her cheeks.
Here's the sentry to Santa's toy factory:
Where Santa's elves were hard at work:
And The Dormouse made a friend:
Then we entered the religious portion of the evening, with a ten foot tall angel:
Some pretty cool ice-lights:
And a life-sized nativity scene:
I'm not sure I knew what to expect going in but we had a wonderful time. I'd suggest getting tickets ahead of time. I'm sure it was more crowded over the Thanksgiving weekend, but this thing's been getting a lot of press apparently so you might want to plan ahead. It was a fun way to ring in the Christmas season.
Oh, and that concludes my NaBloPoMo - post a photo every day contributions. My blog thanks you, my camera thanks you, and I thank you. (Name that musical reference.)
Share:
As a rule, I don't really like to promote Christmasy things until after the first of December, but we had some time yesterday and decided to go ring in the season. I'll write more about that when I have more time and can sit in front of the computer without coughing my toenails up. For now here's a little teaser:
Next thing you know, I'll be putting Christmas music on my webpage and quoting Christmas Shoes with a tear in my eye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just kidding.
Next thing you know, I'll be putting Christmas music on my webpage and quoting Christmas Shoes with a tear in my eye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just kidding.
Share:
When The Dormouse came home from her formal tea party the other day, she made out with a pantload of party favors: a cloth napkin, a teacup and saucer, several glow-in-the-dark bracelets, enough candy to choke a horse, enough glitter to get us through the next three holidays (unfortunately this all came home in her hair), and a purple feather boa.
The feather boa seemed like a great idea until we left the house for the first time.
When we got back and walked through the front door, it looked like a purple chicken had been butchered in our living room.
And dragged downstairs.
Where the culprits were having their way with it's corpse.
I kinda thought it was hilarious, but some of us weren't so amused.
The feather boa seemed like a great idea until we left the house for the first time.
When we got back and walked through the front door, it looked like a purple chicken had been butchered in our living room.
And dragged downstairs.
Where the culprits were having their way with it's corpse.
I kinda thought it was hilarious, but some of us weren't so amused.
Share:
Enjoying the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade together.
Sometimes I wish I had a sister.
Sometimes I wish I had a sister.
Share:
This Thanksgiving, my coup d'état will be if this stuffing, made entirely from random ingredients I found in my pantry and nothing purchased from a grocery store within the last six weeks, tastes as good as it looks here before I put it in the oven. Only time will tell.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Share:
The Dormouse was invited to a "formal tea party" at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago. They were to wear their very best dress and come learn what how a well-mannered young lady should act when invited to a formal event such as this auspicious occasion. There were hor d'oeuvres, a four course meal, formal place settings, dancing, crafts, a make-up center and a course of how to use your manners at the table for each girl. It was quite the event. I was talking to the girl's mother afterward and I mentioned what a cute idea this all was for a birthday party, when the mom said, "Oh this isn't her birthday. Her birthday isn't for another three weeks. I guess we'll have to do this all over again when that happens."
Some people are just better than I will ever be.
Share:
One of the many photos I took while in San Diego last week. The story behind the photo though is that I had a hundred and three degree fever on the day I took this and had to reschedule my plane trip back because I was following the airlines' recommendations that when you have a fever, you shouldn't sit on an enclosed plane breathing recirculated air with over two hundred other healthy people. The airline was only too happy to let me miss my scheduled flight and avoid infecting a large cross section of the population with swine flu... and only too happy to charge me for the privilege of doing so.
Share:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
