Last year, I bought one of these Kurt Adler glass ball sets (See how I maturely restrained myself and typed that with a straight face, completely avoiding the Beevus and Butthead style joke that begs to be told in connection with the name of that product? Wait... dangit!!)  for my tree and fell in love with them.  So I bought another.  And then a few weeks later I bought two more.  And then I bought two more a couple of months after that. There aren't many lights on each strand, but they're kind of expensive so I kept trying to make do with one or two, and then deciding I needed more, and then had to wait until they went on sale again.  They twinkle and change color slowly and randomly and I love them so much.  The only problem is the lights are the size of regular ornaments.  What would would make them better is if I had twice as many and they were the size of small LED lights, so I searched far and wide for the rest of the year (read: I Googled it a couple of times) to find a mini-version of what's on my tree.  I actually ordered these other Kurt Adler lights, thinking they were what I wanted (same brand so it's sound reasoning, right?) but when they came, I turned them on and found that their idea of "twinkle" was flashing on and off like a neon sign in a bar that says Eat at Joe's. I looked them too long and fell into an epileptic seizure.  I could be exaggerating a little here, but the end of the story is I returned those.  

I also tried these similar lights, which displeased me as well because they didn't twinkle at all; they just turn on.  But I was too lazy to return those, so I just put them in a bowl.  


Instant Christmas decorations.

I have done my part. Can December be done now?