Spent the day yesterday cleaning old text messages off my phone.  This is a bigger job than many might think because I prefer text message to talking on the phone, leaving voice mail messages, face-to-face communication, and pretty much anything where I have to interact with people in any way.  I don't need to be in therapy; I have the internet.  Here are thirteen random things I have texted to my friends and family in the past few months that clearly need to be shared with the interweb:

  1. The Caterpillar's favorite pasttime today is to randomly runs over to cat, leans down and yell, "POPCORN!!" as loud as possible in its ear. If I'm eaten in my sleep one day, I can give you motive right now.
  2. Will someone please tell my daughter that Jimi Hendrix is not "a kind of hairstyle they wore in the olden days?"
  3. With no electricity and none for the forseeable future, I told girls it's time to put to practice things learned from "Little House" books.  I like to call this "spin."
  4. The Caterpillar convinced me to get a birthday card and a present for her classmate and bring it to school yesterday for her birthday. Imagine her teachers' faces when they told me the kid's actual birthday isn't for another three months.
  5. The Dormouse: "Sometimes I feel like *random guy at church* is my real dad and Daddy is just my stepdad."  Compliments don't come easy from that kid.
  6. My husband described kids' parties at The Little Gym as "like watching a prison riot from the safety of a guard tower." Eerie how right he is.
  7. The Little Gym worker just told a large group of three year olds to "be cognizant of others' safety, now."  Logic!  Why didn't I think of that?
  8. My child: "It's so hot here, it's just a cryin' shame." I must have failed to recognize the moment she became a seventy year old woman.
  9. For anyone who's ever been annoyed by a kid who plays Chopsticks on the piano incessantly. I see you and raise you a kid who sings it.
  10. Girl child is throwing a fit because "I can't see my elbow when I bend it!" Uh...
  11. Me:  "I love you."  Caterpillar:  "I know."  Me:  "Well, why do you think I love you so much."  Caterpillar: "Because I'm so awesome."  So that self-esteem thing is working out for her.
  12. It's a dog eat dog world out there.  Literally, she looks like a dog barfing up another dog it just ate.
  13. The KoH woke me up at four am, snoring and whistling through his nose.  I officially live inside a bugs bunny cartoon.  Do you think if I hit him in the face with a frying pan, his face will be frying-pan-shaped for the day?