Scene: 8:00 am. Two girls approach me in the living room, wearing every stitch of dress-up clothing we have in the house layered over themselves like a homeless person in the dead of winter.

Dormouse: "DING DONG!"

Me: "What?"

Dormouse: "We're pretend trick-or-treating, Momma!"

Caterpillar: "Yeah! Pretend trick-or-treat!"

Me: "Oh, OK."

Dormouse: "DING DONG."

Caterpillar: "Yeah, DONG DONG."

Me: "Who is it?"

Both: "Trick-or-treat!"

Me: "Oh, OK. Here's some candy for you..." *miming putting candy in their bags* "and you."

Caterpillar: "HEY!!! We don't want PRETEND treats."

Me: "But you're PRETEND trick-or-treating. What kind of treats do you expect?"

Dormouse: "OK. Now we're for-real-trick-or-treating. DING DONG."