One of the reasons I had kids was so that they could help out around the house. You know, pick up my shoes and put them away. Run and get me a Diet Coke from the fridge every now and then. Throw their bodies across a picnic table at the park while I park the car. That kind of thing. My evil plan has actually started to pan out as The Dormouse has finally gotten old enough to help with tasks like garden work and even a bathroom renovation project we've got going in the basement. She's finally old enough to be to able to identify and retrieve a hammer for Daddy and to stay back and just watch when there's something potentially dangerous going on like a miter saw... or knife throwing.

It hasn't really worked out in my favor though because my critical error in judgment was in not taking into account how much more extra work they create in the first place. It kind of cancels out any possible benefit that I thought I might get out of the experience. That doesn't mean, however that I can't loan them out to help with other people's projects.

The Dormouse went over to Monica's yesterday to stay the night. Before I left, I told The Dormouse to help Monica out with any projects she needed done around the house. I guess she took that to heart, as I received these photos periodically throughout the day.

Monica was also kind enough to provide me with frequent hilarious emails and texts keeping me up to date on the comings and goings and adding to the list of Hilarious Things Your Kid Has Said Today.

Here are just a few. I'm of course leaving out some of the more obvious snotty and/or braggy comments that make me look like I haven't taught my daughter any humility at all. I'm sure there are many more that Monica didn't send me in the first place. But look at it this way, I'm pretty sure The Dormouse will come home and repeat everything she's heard in the past twenty four hours and I could get some good dirt on their household.

  • Does your kid ever stop talking long enough to eat? Survey says no.
  • Monica: "What size clothes does The Caterpillar wear?" Dormouse "My sister is a size 8-little." (Um... she's TWO. She wears size 8 SHOES.)
  • “We have that exact same dishwasher. Except it doesn’t beep. And it’s black. And it looks different.”
  • "My bike is 3” tall."
  • "I'm gonna be a famous pianoist when I grow up"
  • After swimming when she was cold - "I thought this would be fun but I never imagined it would end like this."
  • Also amused she says DRAT every 3 seconds (Uh... that's CRUD... I have no idea where she got that but considering the alternative words she could be teaching your kid, Monica, I think "crud" is preferential.)
  • It takes an awful lot of effort to convince your kid that sleeping in a box may not be her best idea yet.
  • In case you are curious, we settled on igloo tent.
  • "Can I call you mom?" "Uh, I guess, though that's kinda weird."

I should probably find it disturbing that after only twenty-four hours, she's asking to call another woman "Mom" but I'm pretty sure I know the reason why.

I don't let her do her chores like this: