How is it that I asked Dr. Google dozens and dozens of times both during the last pregnancy and this one about a series of symptoms I was having and never found anything remotely resembling "round ligament pain"? But I signed up for some random weekly pregnancy newsletter a while back and just had this emailed to me. I simply can't bring myself to admit that Dr. Google, my long and trusted friend, has failed me.

Using the correct phraseology, I get hundreds of hits: eMedicineHealth; Baby Center; American Pregnancy Association; and even WebMD, where I spend about half my online time, honing my skills until one day I become Fake Doctor Alice. But none of these sites came up a couple of days ago when I was desperately google-ing (or is it googling?) "pain pregnancy groin stabbing help help I want to die"?

I've never heard of this condition before and every mother that I asked about it looks at me like I'm not the brightest spark and says they never experienced it. From what all the articles say, it doesn't seem all that uncommon.

I guess not knowing anything about it before hasn't really affected me one way or another, because basically, I've gleaned the following treatment advice from all my reading:

  • take some Tylenol (because my non-medical school degree-holding mind didn't think of that already)
  • try to ignore it ("Why did you just collapse to the ground when you got up to go to the bathroom, Alice?" "Oh no reason.")
  • take it easy (can you take it easier than not getting out of your chair for six hours?)
  • sleep with your legs in a slightly bended position (um, does anyone not do that?)
  • if it hurts when you do that, don't do that (now stop me if you've heard this one: a guy walks into a Doctor's office with a duck on his head...)
  • it won't do you any good to complain about it; you are stuck with it until you deliver (maybe I'll complain a great deal and see if that will help, just in case)
I got brave and spoke to my real-life physician, who pretty much gave me the same list above, but with a practiced-knowing-nod-of-the-head-while-cleaning-his-glasses that I'm sure was honed to a fine, spindly point during that Bedside Manner Class he took in medical school.

I had this with The Dormouse, but it didn't really start until about month eight and got worse and worse as the pregnancy wore on. So having this now, in whatever-the-early-month I am, worries me. By my calculations, at month eight I'll be hanging upside down by my knees from the ceiling fan, screaming and wielding a broomstick at the men in white coats who've come to take me away.

Seriously, does anyone have any experience with this? I would much appreciate some recommendations other than "Here's some crap you already know".


Desperate Enough to Ask the Interweb