I have been outed as a preggo.

A couple of weeks ago, KingofHearts was talking to a friend at church about maybe going out to lunch at a local Japanese restaurant we like. In the course of conversation, he said, "Well, it would be better to go on a day that Alice isn't home because she doesn't eat sushi."

What would you think if someone said that... that they simply didn't like sushi? Me too. We're not that close and this dude doesn't know anything about my eating habits, so it's the most likely conclusion. A lot of people don't eat sushi. A lot of people don't like sushi.

Or maybe he said "can't eat sushi", I don't remember. But either way, 'can't eat sushi' could mean:

a) I'm allergic
b) I dislike it thoroughly
c) I throw up when thinking about eating raw fish on cold rice
I have a moral objection to eating raw animal flesh
e) I haven't been able to eat fish ever since that traumatic goldfish incident in college
f) my grandparents were held in a Japanese internment camp and sushi always reminds me of the injustice
g) I prefer my raw fish fresher - straight from the guppy tank at Wal-Mart
h) I can't help but feel one of the fish might be Nemo, caught as he was making his way home to his father
i) I just watched Happy Feet and my life has been changed by it's conservation message

I pointed out to my sometimes clueless husband, that I could certainly go to a Japanese restaurant and order something off the menu that wasn't sushi, but apparently that never occurred to him... or he secretly wanted to expose me. Probably the latter.

Well, apparently this guy told his wife, who then apparently decided that my not eating sushi of course had to mean I was pregnant and then proceeded to tell all the other nosy women at church. Then two weeks later last night, we got a call from a whole other person in a whole other family who said, when KoH answered the phone, "Hey, I hear Alice can't eat sushi, I guess that means she's pregnant. Congratulations!"

What is it about needing to be all up in other people's business? Not enough Brittney Spears and Anna Nicole gossip on TV these days and so people have to fill their time with my life? It's a poor substitute, let me warn you about that right now.

I know this isn't a huge deal... it's not like I'm a teenager who got knocked up in the back seat of a Chevy and was trying to just 'go away to summer camp' before anyone noticed. People would eventually figure it out - even if I never said anything. But why am I, the preggo in question, not allowed to choose the time and manner in which I disclose my current condition? Why is it necessary for people to call me up and say, "I know something about you... wink, wink, nod, nod, know what I mean?" like they've just beat you in the race to discover a cure for cancer?

We have tried to keep this news a little close to the cuff for our own reasons. Close family and friends know, but given our past history of having a child with a genetic disorder that is described as "not compatible with life", we calmly and rationally chose not to make a big announcement before the results of some of the genetic testing we have to go through, only to have to make another big announcement when and if we found out something might be wrong. In a very weird way, I feel like I lucked out with the great kid I have in The Dormouse (our second daughter) and am pressing that luck in wishing for a another healthy child. And because of that, I have not even spent a lot of time discussing the pregnancy here - I just don't know how to feel yet or talk about it and won't for another few weeks.

Interestingly, the few people at work whom I've shared this information with have been inCREDibly respectful of my wishes and have even asked me if it was alright that they share the information with their husbands before doing so. Am I unreasonable to expect the same consideration from people with whom I go to church?

If I had been on the receiving end of the phone call, I would have certainly either told her it was none of her business or even been a little more creative with the comments:

"Who told you that?"
"If I'd wanted you to know, I probably would have told you."
"I know I've gained a few pounds, but geez!"
"Well if you call having a four pound tapeworm pregnant, I guess I am."
"Yes, but I'm not telling anyone until we figure out who the father is."
"I'd really rather not discuss the alien abduction that led to my condition."
"Oh that? Angelina Jolie rented out my uterus."
"Guess that doctor who tied my tubes is gonna be paying me a settlement."

immediately come to mind. But my oh-so-transparent husband got caught off guard and fessed up. So now I have to endure four more weeks until the amniocentesis - talking about this pregnancy with people I'm not close to and don't feel supported by while not really even knowing how I feel about it myself. I know it should bother me less, but it really cheezes me off.

I have always been told you should not ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see a head emerging between her legs. I think that's a good rule of thumb to follow. Even if you have pretty good evidence to the contrary, it's not appropriate to ambush them with their own revelations. Just sit back and wait for them to bring it up.

That is all.

*climbs down off soapbox, dusts off pant legs, stomps away*