The other day, I received the following in an email from Monica with the subject "Lamest Affair Attempt Ever". I've always been a big Evelyn Glennie fan, but I don't really know if I can ever watch her play again without thinking of this:

LOVE BYTES THE MAESTRO

Washington's world-renowned conductor, Leonard Slatkin, is receiving some very unwelcome attention for R-rated e-mails he exchanged with famed virtuoso deaf percussionist Evelyn Glennie.

A recent article in London's Mail on Sunday tabloid, based on information provided by Glennie's aggrieved ex-husband, claimed that in 1999 the married Slatkin carried on a "passionate affair" with Glennie. At the time, Slatkin was conductor of the BBC Symphony Orchestra as well as music director of the National Symphony Orchestra.

The article reports that ex-hubby Greg Malcangi discovered the incriminating e-mails on his then-wife's laptop. "One e-mail said, 'The thought of my modem inside your laptop turns my mainframe on.' It was pretty tacky," he said. In another case, Slatkin e-mailed Glennie: "Will we have to be on line to make love? I'll nibble on your bits and byte." Glennie's reply: "I need your special touch all over me." We'll discreetly draw a veil over the rest.

Slatkin was out of the country and apparently unreachable. But soprano Linda Hohenfeld, his wife of 18 years, told us she was aware of the e-mails before the Mail on Sunday printed them. "In fact they took place back in the 20th century," she said, insisting that "there was never any affair." She added: "Don't people flirt on their computers? I know they flirt at cocktail parties. . . . As gossip goes, this is nothing."

Reprinted from Jewish World Review.

I beg to differ. As gossip goes, this is sad.