I've been trying lately to think of things to write about other than my kids, but the truth is, I make it a rule not to write about work much, this seems an inappropriate forum to discuss my sex life, and not much else ever happens to me besides my kids. I may or may not need to check the lost and found for the remnants of my former life.

So instead, here's a little story from my past:

A few years ago I worked in the psychiatric wing of a local hospital. I contracted there once a week to provide groups on the locked inpatients' wing. It was interesting work and I would still be doing it now if they hadn't closed that hospital to psychiatric patients. Now they ship them somewhere that's not nearly convenient enough for me to drive to and not nearly as lucrative after gas money and travel time. Then I had kids and got distracted.

Anyway, one night I was doing a music and imagery activity and trying to get the patients to focus on their recovery and make a plan to stick to after their release from the hospital... you know... so they don't have to come back. We listened to the music and went through the planned imagery and then at the end, I asked each patient to describe one goal they had for themselves to the rest of the group.

One person wanted to live her life med free, another wanted to never have to leave his wife and family again due to an involuntary admission to the hospital such as the one that brought him here. You get the idea.

Finally, I got around to the last person in the group and asked,
"How about you, Brittney*? If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

Brittney looked thoughtful for a moment as her eyes lifted up toward the sky while she considered all of life's possible goals and desires and then slowly replied,

"I would have cigarettes."

I looked at her incredulously, "Cigarettes? That's what you'd have if you could have Anything. In. The. World?"

She slowly brought her eyes back down to meet mine and answered in the sexiest voice I think I've ever heard before or since,

"Lots. And lots. of cigarettes."

*not her real name - What? You weren't you aware that no one named Brittney has ever had psychiatric problems?