A few weeks ago... ok a few months ago, The Tewkesbury Chronicles suggested I participate in this Life in six words prompt. I didn't ignore it, per se. I just couldn't come up with anything that pleased me. Back in March, I wrote the following six words down and saved them in my drafts, hoping to come up with something better and finish the post:

No sleep much screaming kill me now

It's not six words... and it's not even a sentence. But, I think The KingofHearts could tell you, that was the closest thing to a sentence that came out of my mouth at the time I wrote it down.

I've been trying to complete this post ever since, but I'm afraid my ability to complete a sentence hasn't gotten any better. Three months later, things are different. But they're the same. There's still very little sleep. There's still lots of screaming. There's a little more independent ambulation than there was back then, but it really only involves The Caterpillar crawling over to my feet, biting my toe and screaming to be picked up.

Today was a particularly bad day. She had been doing much better with the sleeping at night, only waking up once and then going back down. This was a piece of cake for a lifetime insomniac such as myself. Until last night when she said, "Psych" and woke up screaming every two hours. Today was a take her to work day and she wasn't much better behaved there. There are days when I love having her there with me. It's great for morale - mine and others'. But the downside is that I'm always on edge. Always worried that she's disturbing someone or detracting from the professionalism of the office. Always trying to shush her and worried that my door is constantly closed and colleagues will feel like I'm not accessible. Tired of trying to type emails with one hand while a squirmy child attempts to wriggle out of my grasp and then scream loudly when she succeeds. She's normally a terrific baby. But on the days when she's not, it's just hard. I want to pull my hair out. I feel like everyone around me is grabbing at me and wants something from me. And sometimes, as much as I love holding her and cuddling her and having her near, I'm just touched out need a break from twenty four hours constant tactile stimulation. I want to turn in my mother card.

That was today.

But even then, I think about how terrific these two little beings are that have been entrusted to our care. How even at her most annoying, all The Dormouse has to do is give me one spontaneous, "Momma? I really love my family." and that makes up for all the shoes not put away and the messes made twenty seconds after I just cleaned up that area. And even on the worst days at the height of all the screaming and sleeplessness, The Caterpillar still can flash me one of those impish smiles for a split second and my heart melts all over again. I think about our first little girl and how much I would give to have had even one bad day with her.

So here are my six words:

Life is pretty damn cool sometimes.