We decided to get a new car last week.

And by "car," I mean, something I refuse to call a sport utility vehicle because a real man knows a station wagon when he sees one

And by "we," I mean The KoH

And by "new," I mean new to us because I haven't purchased a new car since 1990 when you could actually get a new car for six grand.  

And by "decided" I mean, the old car gave up the ghost and we pretty much had to end the Game Of Chicken we've been playing with The Universe about which of our crappy cars needed to be replaced first.  My biggest fear was that we'd replace my car and then his would immediately die.  Or vice versa. 

But then we had to travel on Christmas day with short notice, which cost an arm and a leg and two more arms and seven more legs and we only have eight legs to work with unless you count the cats and I'm pretty sure a cat leg is less valuable than a human leg, so we decided not to do anything about the new car at all.  Instead we would just wait until one of them did actually die and that would force our hand... which happened about one week after we got back from our trip.

Me to universe: "Suck it Universe, we win! Or... kinda.... somewhat."
Universe to me: "Oh you think you can win in a Game Of Chicken with The Universe?  Think again."

Because about two days after the newish car was brought home, our washing machine started leaking. Which was good because it meant the water in our basement was COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!, but bad because it meant we needed a new washing machine. 

It's like a washing machine you bought for $35 at a garage sale seventeen years ago isn't built to last anymore. Geez.

And then we needed a new dryer too because the one we bought for $50 at a garage sale seventeen years ago has been making noises like a cat had gotten stuck inside it and we have just been ignoring that by closing the basement door and leaving some food on the floor underneath the dryer for months. Or years.  I forget which. So we got a new washer/dryer set... or newish, thanks to Craigslist, because, honestly.

This is all to explain why I need to call a doctor because we are HEMORRHAGING MONEY.

I have been trying to make the best of it by messing with The KoH's car when he's not looking.  

Because he got a new car and I did not.

Also, because I think it hates me.  This is what it told me the first time I drove it.

Incidentally, that package of car auto lashes came with this insert and because find it hilarious, I shall now type out the marketing blurb that is shown prominently on the cover sheet.

Etle all the "under" installed,just need to put the torn paper will be posted on its headlights on you.your headlights when he put up a scroll Etle of all the eyelashes,it is in fine fettle,inspirited,love the charm,and became a power in the road goes,there will be very high Turns head looked

 I have no response to that.