|Mount Vernon at sunset|
Maybe it's just the antidepressants talking but all in all, 2014 wasn't that bad for me. Some ups, some downs, but that's life and life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. The latter quarter of the year sucked a bit and caused us to change a whole lot of plans we'd made, maybe I'll write about that some later, but even that was a pretty small blip on the screen because we weathered it pretty OK after some initial kicking against the pricks. It's not my worst year ever, by far.
The other night, I helped teach a lesson on goal setting to some teenagers and we asked them to imagine where they wanted to be in ten years. What did they want their lives to be like? What did they want to be doing? What did they want to have accomplished? And then based on that, we asked them to back up five years. Where do they need to be in five years, in order to be where they said they wanted to be in ten years? Then back up to next year. Then next month. Then next week. The adults in the room walked through the exercise as well to set an example and I was thinking about my own goals, all I could think of was this:
The truth is, I am a fairly goal-driven person and yet, I have no idea where I want to be ten years from now. I could not think of a single thing that I don't have now that I want to have then. Oh, I have lots of ideas about doing random projects and education and new experiences, but none of them was an overwhelming goal that I really cared about enough to write down. If those things were to happen, that'd be fine, and if not, well... that'd be fine too. I can't decide whether this means I'm not excessively materialistic and I kind of like my life, I've accomplished all the things I want to and now I just want a vacation, or I've just grown so apathetic I can't articulate anything.
Is this what happens when you get old?
Perhaps my goal for 2015 is to get a goal.
Either that or my goal for 2015 is to refrain from eating fiberglass insulation and to wear my shoes over my socks. Because that seems easy and I think I can accomplish that.