I could tell you the story of my week between Christmas and New Year's Day, but your eyes would roll back into your head and you'd cover your ears and because I'd start whining like Beaker from the Muppets.  Just know that it involves a wedding, a short-planned trip out west, flying on Christmas day, fights about presents and when to open presents and whether to pack presents and which presents are allowed to be packed (hint: presents that constantly talk, probably not a good match with a plane full of people... and just a poor choice in general by parents who dislike toys that make even more noise than two children), a broken furnace the night before we left, a shifty rental car place, a couple of viruses, very little sleep, many thousands of dollars, and two kids who were about as good sports as they could be, given all of what we put them through.  I'd say I need a vacation from my vacation but no one really considers what we did this week a vacation.

Suffice it to say that I'm looking forward to 2014, if only just for the satisfaction of saying goodbye to the tail end of 2013.


While I was awake in the middle of the night every night last week, I had lots of time to think up some ways to make 2014 a damn sight better than the old one.  Here are my New Year's Resolutions: 
  1. Gain 10 pounds (I like to put at least one thing on there I know I can achieve). 
  2. Be kinder to my husband... unless he's acting like a jerkwad, which nullifies the entire deal.
  3. Stop using the word jerkwad because it makes me sound like a jerkwad.
  4. Stop making pointless lists of things I need to do but will never complete. Just suck it up and
  5. Spend a little less time thinking about nachos.  Think about tacos instead.
  6. Stop mocking and criticizing people inside my head while they are talking to me. Just kidding, that's dumb.
  7. Stop saying it was the dog who farted. Either that or get a dog.
  8. Care more... but only when absolutely necessary.
  9. 1280x960... ha ha... little web graphics joke for you there.
  10. Exude positivity and enthusiasm. Or some other stupid crap like that.
  11. Try, for at least one minute, to remember a fact using my brain before looking it up on my phone. This is what life was like for us in the olden days.
  12. Do not travel further than my kitchen for Christmas in 2014 
  13. Announce my retirement. Then actually retire.
Not everyone was as thrilled about the new year as those million people in Times Square last night.

 

Hope you're more optimistic about 2014 than she is.