Scenes From a Car

 Caterpillar: "I learned a joke at camp, Momma, can I tell it to you?"

 Me: "Shoot."

 Caterpillar: "What?"

 Me: "Go ahead."

 Caterpillar: "OK. There's this girl.  Her name is.... wait... I forgot her name."

 Dormouse: "Sandy?"

 Caterpillar:"No..."

 Dormouse: "Michelle?"

 Caterpillar:"No..."

 Dormouse: "Slippy?"

 Caterpillar: "No..."

 Dormouse: "Slappy?"

 Caterpillar: "No..." *pouts* "I can't remember her name."

 Dormouse: "Samsonite?"

 Caterpillar: "No..." *long pause*  "I'm gonna just go with Belle.  OK.  There was this girl. Her name was Belle.  What did Belle do to improve her hearing?"

 Dormouse: "Oh wait! I know this joke! Her name wasn't Belle. It was Melanie!"

 Caterpillar: "No..."

 Dormouse: "Yes. Melanie."

 Caterpillar: "No! IT WASN'T MELANIE!"

 Dormouse: "Yes! It was Melanie. I had the same joke on my popsicle stick too!"

 Caterpillar:  *pouts now; doesn't want to tell the joke*

 I try to change the subject:  "Hey see that cat crossing the street?"

 Caterpillar: *pouts now, because she can't tell the joke* "I was TRYING to tell you my joke!"

 Me: "But you weren't telling the joke. You were pouting."

 Caterpillar: "Well now I want to tell the joke."

Me: "Alright then." *gritting teeth* "Tell. The. Joke."

 Caterpillar: "There was this girl. Her name was Melanie.  What did Melanie do to improve her hearing?"

 Dormouse: "Told you it was Melanie!"

 Me: "MY GUESS IS IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HER NAME IS FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS JOKE; CAN YOU JUST LET HER FINISH ALREADY?!?"

 Dormouse: *pouts* "Yes, it does."

 *everyone ignores The Dormouse*

 Caterpillar: "There was this girl. Her name was Melanie.  What did Melanie do to improve her hearing?"

 Me: "I don't know.  What did Melanie do to improve her hearing?"

 Caterpillar: "She ate an ear of corn."

 *stunned silence*

 Me: "Ha ha."

 Dormouse: "See?!?! Her name was Melanie!!"

 Me: "I don't think it really mattered what her name was.  Her name could just as easily have been Belle and you could have let this conversation end five minutes ago. Her name could have also been Jane and the joke would end the same.  Or Frances. Or Midge."

 Caterpillar: "Or Josephine. Or Betsy."

 Dormouse: "Or Poop."

 Caterpillar: "Well... let's not say it was Poop."

 Me: *slams car into nearest embankment and hopes for a quick death*