So, taking my kids to see that Frozen movie on opening weekend proved to be a huge misstep as we've had to listen to them sing those songs over and over for months now.  

I actually really liked the music... the first time... but think about your favorite song. You know, the one you can't actually live without and love with all of your heart.  Now think of hearing that song on repeat, non-stop on the radio. Everywhere. You. Go.  But not the whole song from beginning to end, just key, eight-bar, non-consecutive lines, which get sung over and over and over and over until you didn't know there were any other parts of the song and you can't remember what you liked about it in the first place and then you try to turn down the volume on the radio and you do... but you still hear the song because the radio is now just singing it quietly under its breath and you yell at the radio to STOP THAT SINGING ALREADY OR AT LEAST FINISH THE DAMN SONG, and the radio does stop or at least you think it does but then the song is still going on over and over in your head and you realize the radio is still singing the song, it just halved the volume and then you tell it again and it halves the volume again even quieter and you know Zeno's paradox, that theory how if every day you travel half the distance to somewhere you can never really arrive there, ever?  Well that works with sound too, so now it's half as loud and half as loud again, but what's really happened is the radio is now just singing in infrasonic tones or it's become a part of you on a cellular level and you don't really know the difference but it doesn't matter anyway because YOU HAVE GONE MAD, I TELL YOU, MAAAAAAADDD!

Can you imagine that?

That's what it's like to live my life since Frozen came out.


A few weeks ago, the kids had gone to bed and The KingofHearts was in the bedroom reading and I was watching TV or on the internet or something and I kept hearing what sounded like neighbors outside. When I finally couldn't ignore it anymore, I got up and realized The Dormouse was in her bedroom, all the lights out, with The Caterpillar sleeping in the bunk below her, singing that Let It Go song, among others, at the top of her lungs.  I quickly got The KoH out of bed and we stood at the closed door, listening.  She has a beautiful voice, actually, and while I'd heard her sing before many times, this was different because it was crazy uninhibited and profoundly joyful.  We sat there, both of us adults, with our ears to the door, just listening and trying not to make any noise for several minutes.  It was beautiful.

Until suddenly, the singing stopped in the middle of a phrase. We froze and looked at each other, wide-eyed.  We knew we had to get out of there, but the door knob started to turn before we could do anything about it.  We cowered and started around, Keystone Cop style, and began backing up like a couple of thieves trying to get the hell outta the bank vault before the SWAT team broke through and caught us.  He accidentally stepped on me.  I backed up and tripped over the shelf that came off the kitchen wall awhile back and has been sitting in the hallway, knocking it over and giving myself an extra toe in the process.  We both fell over each other as the door opened and spun in opposite directions, him trying to make it look like he just happened to be sauntering toward the bedroom and me pretending to come from the bedroom on the way to the kitchen while we both made every attempt to expel the guilty looks from our faces.  

Her head appeared from the darkness and I said, half-choking on my laughter, "What are you doing up, honey?"  

"I was just going to get some water."

"OK.  But get back to bed quickly.  It's late."

"OK, momma, good night."


Given that I am so sick of the Frozen songs, when The Shortlings came home from school singing new lyrics to Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? with the words "Do you wanna hide a body?" I was A-OK with that because it meant that they might actually try and finish a verse now and then.  I think it was originally an internet parody and they heard someone at school singing it, but they wrote their own words after that and then The KoH and I got into it and it's now become a dinnertime staple.  Every couple of days we write a new verse.  Yes, we're weird.  Everyone knows that.  But think about it, you're reading this, so that probably makes you weird too.  There's nothing wrong with being weird, I hear.  And because I love you, I shall share our lyrical creations with you now.  Enjoy.

Do you wanna hide a body?
We can put them in the trunk. 
It wasn't really all my fault, they let me
have some booze 
and now I'm really drunk.
I killed my mom and father.
I staged the car crash.
Now I'm in trouble with the law.
Do you wanna hide a body?
Or maybe you could lend me,
your buzz saw.
 
Do you wanna hide a body? 
I'll get the duct tape and the lye. 
We'll just do a bit of gardening, 
plan a barbeque
and then everything is fine.
I just need a place to hide out
'til the heat is off.
So hold this and don't ask why.
Do you wanna hide a body?
I really need to hide this body.
C'mon.
Let's not cry.

Do you wanna steal a body?
I know a place where we can go.
It’s technically illegal, but it's also
quite medieval, 
we can nibble on the toe.
We’ll have an awesome weekend
At Bernie’s house, 
just watching him decompose.
So let’s go steal Bernie’s body!
NO?
How ‘bout Joe?