You won’t find that kind of competence here. Instead what I've got today is several small morsels that have been floating around in my head the last few weeks, all on the same subject. Unfortunately I haven't been able to mold them together into one cohesive unit or expand the individual ones for a decent post. And so I present:
String Theory - the Opposite of Chaos Theory
Oh and by the way... all those of you who are, at this point in time, composing in your heads a comment that will school me on the fact that String Theory and Chaos Theory are not polar opposites and that this is like comparing apples and broccoli can save your breath (I'm looking your way, KingofHearts). My eyes will roll up into the back of my head and a small string of spittle will eventually appear in the corner of my mouth as I snore through it. Both you and I know I'm speaking metaphorically here.
It’s no secret that I have a love/hate relationship with Disney and that my tomboyish, GI Joe-loving, Barbie-abhorring, Pink and Purple-eschewing set of chromosomes have somehow combined with my husband’s (which I always assumed to be somewhat similar in taste) to create a girly-girl nightmare in dress up clothes. My daughter has totally fallen prey to Disney’s Princess Marketing Scheme and is obsessed with all things princess and princess costuming. Each day she comes home from preschool and makes a beeline for the treasure chest where we keep all the dress-up clothes. From then until bath time, it’s a long parade of one dress after another, scarves, shoes, magic wands and tiaras. But not crowns... princesses do not wear crowns. (I'm surprised you didn't know that.)
Of Course I Look Great, What Did You Expect?
Our neighbor stopped by the other day to chat and bring us some goodies. The door opened and she took one look at him in the doorway and immediately began stripping all her clothes off on her way to her bedroom. She returned seconds later donned in sparkly, taffeta garb. Our friend exclaimed, “Wooooow! Look at you! You look just like a princess!” To which she replied matter-of-factly: “Uh huh. Told ya!”, then sauntered off to survey her princess-ly domain.
Look, But Don't Touch
Scene: Daddy comes home and enters the room as he returns from work to a purple-clad fairy princess type with a purple flowing cape and says "Oh, you look lovely. Can I give you a kiss?"
*answers with Valley Girl accent* "Daa-aad... Because I'm in a der-essssss." *rolls eyes, walks away*
Perhaps This is What Civil War Reenactors' Daughters Do While Waiting for Them to Break for Lunch?
After being allowed to watch the movie Cinderella and sitting in rapt attention throughout, when the credits began to roll, she ran impulsively to the dress-up chest and came back in a Blue Ice Princess outfit with fur collar with two shoes with pink plastic heels and clear plastic uppers in her hands. She put one shoe down on a chair and sat on top of it, then handed the other to me. I took it. "No mommy! Drop it! Drop it on the floor. Now!", she shrieked with life-and-death urgency. Afraid that her head might soon spin around and start spewing pea soup, I immediately dropped it like I'm-still-single-and-it's-a-bridal-bouquet. She reached behind her and pulled the other shoe out from under her bottom and said in the sweetest voice imaginable, "But wait.... I have the other slipper." Obediently, I put the other shoe on her foot and she exclaimed "It fits!", and danced away.
I'll Have a Blue Christmas
Around Christmas-time she and I purchased two holiday-y dresses for her new church outfits. We chose ones that seemed a little festive for the season and worked for some of the events we had planned, but could work the rest of the year too. She was extremely excited to pick them out herself in the store and couldn't have been happier. But later, whenever it came time to wear one of the dresses to a holiday occasion, she inexplicably only wanted to wear the old blue dress that she'd had for over a year. I coaxed and cajoled her to wear one of the new ones, but she would have none of it. Several arguments and several events later, I finally let her put the blue dress on. She slipped it on and immediately spun a circle and mused to herself, "It'll be a dream come true.", which is exactly the moment I realized that the blue dress reminds her of Cinderella's dress at the ball... and that's why she wanted to wear it.
Pray for me that this phase will end soon. Right now, if I cut myself, I'd probably bleed pink.